I am deciding to do songs on this app... so I am a type songs. If you want a specific song typed I will type just comment!
So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
Yo mama so fat, she orbits the sun!
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?
So it can hang him.
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
When the speedbump in a school zone screams, so you go faster.
The emo kid wanted a high five. I left him hanging, so did the tree.
Your forehead is so big I could land a jet plane on it.
Yo mama so big, she thought Christopher Rhoades was a tampon.
(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing to this day!
My friend is blind so he can "no see."
You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.
Yo mama so fat, she's bigger than the universe itself!
One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"
