SOS jokes

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.

Yo mama so fat, when she went swimming, they found water on Mars!

Yo mama so fat that the sun is her moon.

Yo mama so fat that she doesn't need the internet, she is worldwide.

Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

Yo momma so slutty, she did a mukbang video with dicks instead of food.

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

Yo mama so ugly when her parents had a gender reveal party the balloon came out green.

So this blind man was walking down the street with his stick, right? And he walked past this fish market, he took a deep breath and said, "WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES!"

Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."

My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.

What if the ocean just raided Titanic of its people? Like instead of it flooding, it was raiding it and threatened the passengers if they told, so they just said an iceberg flooded the ship.

I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.

Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!

Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.

Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?

Because so he does not have a home button.

Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.

Iran: We can beat the USA.

Japan: You do realize we beat him in Battleship, and he dropped the sun on us.

Iran: So?

Japan: Twice!

Why was the fanny flat?

So it can flop about.

Guy: Do you want a nickel?

Girl: Sure.

Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?

Girl: 😳😩😩😩

Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.