SOS jokes
Yo mama is so ugly that Satan started going to church!
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
Because his head is so high up in the air.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
So they could be wanted.
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can be loved.
I got arrested for raping a girl. Its so unfair, i really thought she was dead.
Why is it so easy bullying orphans?
They can’t tell their mom.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.
The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j
A man died and went to heaven. Here he met Jesus. There were two clocks. The man asked, "What's with the clocks?" Jesus answered, "This is Mother Theresa's clock. She has not lied, so the clock hasn't moved. This is Abraham Lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice, so it's moved twice." "Where's Donald Trump's?" the man asked. Jesus replied: "It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
Ya forehead so big Sakura's forehead seemed small.
Bro, your forehead so big Dakota's forehead seemed small.
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
Your forehead is so big, John Cena could wrestle on it.
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
Yo mama so ugly, when she go to church they say it's a demon!
Yo momma's so gay, you sucked her balls.