SOS jokes

So you're in a hospital, you barely survive your suicide attempt. You see one of the scalpels, you finish the job.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

Some trans "woman" came up to me and told me to act my age so I told him to act his gender

I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

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Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?

Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.

There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:

"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."

Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"

The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"

If a girl says no twice 🤔.

Mathematically that’s a yes, so you’re good to go!