Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!
Phobos and Deimos are just asteroids in moon costumes, and Mars was blind due to its frequent sandstorms, so it let Phobos and Deimos be its moons.
Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on technology. So I unplugged his life support. (ref)
My grief counselor died.
He was so good, I donβt even care! πππ
Yo mama so fat that when she went to take a crap... she couldn't even take a crap!
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
Why do orphans go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
Friend: Hi, orphan.
Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.
Friend: ummm
Orphan: Exactly, U can't.
Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!
So, I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.
I swear every time I walk past a guy, they stare at my ass. I always keep wondering why it hurts so much.
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know what a home base is.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. π
My older sister said she was gonna shoot herself, so I did it for her.
Why is 10 so scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11.
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
You're so fat that when you went outside, you broke the 2-meter rule for COVID.
