SOS jokes

Your forehead is so big I could stand on it.

Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.

Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"

So that way they feel important.

I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*

Me: Uh, male?..

Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*

Me: You silly goose.

*Silence for like three seconds*

Me: Still male though-

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

Her chest was so flat, I felt gay while hugging her.

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.

You're so ugly, that's why me and your hairline go far back.

Your hairline is so far back that it killed the dinosaurs.

This pun is so bad you're gonna punch me.

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. 🤣🤣 LOL

This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs.

So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

Guy, it was so weird yesterday. I saw a guy, and he kept repeating the same thing over and over. I hate people with dementia. I told my mom to get a new mirror, but she won’t listen to me. It’s almost like I said it like 20 times every time I say it.

Your forehead is so big that you dream on IMAX.