I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.
Why is Chloe's forehead so big? Because her forehead is king-size.
Your so ugly that your birth certificate is an apology.
A Karen is so stupid, she can't even cross the hairline!
Your mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family.
Depression sucks, and so do you.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
Marleigh is so fat and ugly.
I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...
Lilly's hairline was so fat that Charlene could not find it on Roblox.
Charlene's hairline was so big that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
Your mum's hairline was so big that Dora the Explorer could not find it.
Charlene's hairline was so far back that she was practically bald and fat.
The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."
I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
