SOS jokes

Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.

Yo mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?

Because they have already lost their towers.

Why is your forehead so shiny? Did somebody laminate you? You're so shiny, Mulan can look into your forehead and sing "Reflection."

Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't know how to play bacon.

Yo momma's so fat, it takes her 1,000,000 hours on the toilet.

Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.