So jokes
Your mama's so fat, I don’t know if it is a hippo or not.
Yo momma so ugly, the Devil started going to church!
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.
I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"
He gave me a book.
It was the Quran.
I said, "What the hell is that?"
He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."
What's the difference between you and me?
I have a plan for this new year.
So long, suckers. Keep scrolling.
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps, the earth was shaking!
A teacher walked up to me and said, "How did we get butt cracks?"
I was like 4, so I said, "You had an earthquake on your booty."
Bootylicious lol
Your mom is so skinny, she eats Skinny Pop!
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.