Newest Severity Jokes - Page 2

2 Kids told their parents they saw a man late a night entering their house on Christmas night The day later they found out several houses were robbed

What do you call a decapitated politician? A severed head of state.

One time, I took my wife to the doctors. My wife had a severe migraine, and needed a medic. I waited for about 10 minutes. The doctor walked out with my wife in a wheelchair. "Due to your wife's broken hip, she may never walk again," said the doctor. "She had a migraine," I said. "Oh, we know," said the doctor.

One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided try to find the treasure. After several hours they found the treasure, it was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friend wear the suit and hugs the other friend. They were both red.

How do you know someone is fucking dumb?

They put jokes that have been used several times already

"Why do people call Americans excessive?"

"It was probably because of WWII."

"Oh you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"

A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He B*NED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.