Rebuttal jokes

Dear NASA, your mom thought I was big enough.

–Pluto.

Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.

Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.

Orphan: Mine are never.

Johnny, Johnny?

Yes, Papa.

Eating sugar?

Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.

Smoking? Telling lies?

Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.

Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.

Orphan: But I don't have a mom!

Little Johnny's dad was drunk and told him to grow up, and he said, "STFU, you need to be young, you big-ass bitch!"

Girl: Come over.

Orphan: I can’t.

Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)

Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.