New Real Estate Jokes

Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?

Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.

What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?

A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.

Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.

It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

How much does a chimney cost?

It's free cause it's on the house.

A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"

What do you call a house that isn't a house?

Not a house.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To get to the real estate agent.

Why did the orphan rob the bank 🏦 To buy a house

If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.

Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?

Because it was over 10 years old.

There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?

Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.

This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"