Real Estate jokes
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.
So I could put kids inside you.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
How much does a chimney cost?
It's free cause it's on the house.
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
What do you call a house that isn't a house?
Not a house.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To buy a house.
If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.
What does a house wear? Address.
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"
Why can't you go home tonight? Because you haven't got a home, it's moved.
"Hipity hopity, get the f*ck off my property!"
Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?
Neither has he.