Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?
Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
"You're the bomb."
"No, you're the bomb."
A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back.
