Pushin P jokes

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back.

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

"You're the bomb."

"No, you're the bomb."

A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.

The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet. The student recited the alphabet: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz". "Where's the p?" He looked down to the floor and said: "it's running down my legs".

A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.

"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.

"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"

"Good, but where's the p?"

"Running down my leg."

What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.

What do you call a pineapple in a pun?

A Puneapple.

Spell Mississippi.

M-I-S-S-I-P-P~

Haha you said pp.