Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

a guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if its relephant. he says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

I aced my poker test...

my teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...

A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffee-n...

do you get my puns... no, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...