Policemen jokes

All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.

A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.

When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?

Why don't cows make good policemen?

Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!

How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just beat the room for being black.

Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.

What do you call a special police officer?

Officer down!

Police: Where do you live?

Me: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parents live?

Me: With me.

Police: Where do you all live?

Me: Together.

Police: Where is your house?

Me: Next to my neighbor.

Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?

Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.

Police: Tell me.

Me: Next to my house.

A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."