Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he couldn't stop DROPPING HITS.
Why don't Indians play baseball?
Every time they reach a corner, they make a shop.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
Also, what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.
I threw a lamp at an emo? I tried to lighten up his day.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Me: Because they can't get a homerun.
My son and I went on a tour to the Old Trafford Stadium. We were admiring the 76,000 seat arena when he suddenly pointed at the pitch.
“Dad, who is that man camping there?” I said, “Son, that is Bruno Penandes. He lives in that Penalty box. He only performs in small games.”
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.
What talks high pitched and can't fly?
A gay man in Iran.
The reason why you have a high pitched voice is because you always sing opera.
Why do orphans hate cricket?
Because they can't get a "homerun."
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
I wondered why the pitcher hadn’t pitched the ball yet.
Then it hit me.
