Personal Relationship jokes

I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."

Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.

My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.

Like if your best friend is emo.