Perfect jokes

I've been told I've got a perfect cock.

She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.

If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"

Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."