Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
I just came across a pile of cash in the parking lot.
Usually I just use tissues.
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
Two nuns walk into a liquor store, and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whisky he had.
The clerk replied, "Heck no sister, you nuns aren't supposed to drink that stuff!" The nun said, "Well my son, it is not for us, you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers, "She has the constipation."
The clerk said, "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have." The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave. A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled, he goes over to them and says, "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!"
One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!"
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
do you ever get that feeling where your just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots
If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.
There's more genders than there are cars in a walmart parking lot
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
Bird On the beach: seagull Bird by the bay: bagel Bird down south philly Walmart parking lot: illegal
I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.
What's grey and can't fly?
A parking lot.
