Paisley jokes
I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
An Irishman, Englishman, and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness.
Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away, and demands another pint.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.
The Irishman reaches into the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers, and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.
Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?
Community talk
She put him out Like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette She broke his heart He spent his whole life tryin' to forget We watched him drink his pain away A little at a time But he never could get drunk enough To get her off his mind Until the night
[Chorus: Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss ] He put that bottle to his head And pulled the trigger And finally drank away her memory Life is short, but this time it was bigger Than the strength he had to get up off his knees We found him with his face down in the pillow With a note that said, "I'll love her 'til I die" And when we buried him beneath the willow The Angels sang a whiskey lullaby