Outing

Outing jokes

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I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

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    • I got kicked out of the school library for placing a women's rights book in the fiction section.

    An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"

    Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"

    911, what's your emergency?

    Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.

    Well, it's not a living room anymore.

    Me: Hangs up.

    My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

    Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?

    She kept getting the metal detector out.

    My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

    "So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂

    China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.

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    • Why do feminists eat so much pussy?

    To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.

    Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?

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    • How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?

    When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.

    Why did the orphan kill himself when he found out who his dad was? Because he found out his dad was Donald Trump.

    One day I was at church. I had to sit down. I said, "Who in the world stinks?" I looked down. Turns out it was me, and this is not a joke, but funny.

    What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.

    Join us for more of the story, after the break!

    So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.