Oscar jokes
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
Why does Oscar Field have no friends? Because he spends time on his fields.
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
Why are there no Olympics in Mexico?
Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
Community talk
Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-eh Otro sunset bonito que veo en San Juan Disfrutando de toda' esas cosas que extrañan los que se van Disfrutando de noches de esas que ya no se dan Que ya no se dan Pero queriendo volver a la última vez que a los ojos te miré Y contarte las cosas que no te conté (te pareces a mi crush, ja, ja) Y tirarte las fotos que no te tiré Acho, jurado te ves bien linda, déjame tirarte una foto Ey, tengo… Read more
most complex way to say the word cat:
charlie hotel alpha romeo lima india echo hotel oscar tango echo lima alpha lima papa hotel alpha romeo oscar mike echo oscar lima india mike alpha india november delta india alpha echo charlie hotel oscar
alpha lima papa hotel alpha lima india mike alpha papa alpha papa alpha hotel oscar tango echo lima alpha lima papa hotel alpha
tango alpha november golf oscar alpha lima papa hotel alpha november oscar victor echo mike bravo echo romeo golf oscar lima foxtrot oscar sierra charlie alpha romeo
Conversations with my younger self
How is oscar is he still jumping around like a kangaroo?
No, he got stuck underneath our dad's car now he can't jump.
how is grandnan is she still alive and well?
no, we lost her on February 21st at the age of 90.
our we still in the house we loved
no, we had to move houses because we couldn't afford it anymore.
are we still best friends with charlie Clarkson
no, she said something means about my parents and we stopped being friends in April 2021
But are we still happy all the time and have sooooooo many friends
No, we are just friends with a few people but they are awesome.