Option jokes

DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:

* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck

Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that.

But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?

Panera instead.

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

Your mom should show you your real home. The trash!

If death was an option for a look, you could be the first.

Random person: "Just turn the page and start over."

Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."

It's not rape if she doesn't say no.

Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.

Why can the orphan only go to restaurants?

Because they can't have homemade meals.