Worst Jokes Ever

What are you on? YouTube.

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"

Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"

Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."

Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?

There is a small medium at large.

Have you ever been eight before?

You were between 7 and 9.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because...

Life.

You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.

But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.

And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."

What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?

10 year olds.

I fucked a Pokemon the other day. It is dead now.

You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.

What is always moving but we never see it walk?

Time! Hahahaha!

What do you call a dictatorial cow?

Moosilini.

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.

Chuck Norris knows the location of Atlantis.

What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in.

Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.

1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!

Yo mama!

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

Because of gravity.