Natural History jokes

Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!

Barack Obama and Tork Poettschke are at the Natural History Museum. They stop in front of a showcase.

"These are the eggs from the ostrich!"

"Aha, and where are Trump's eggs?"

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.

Did you know that when pigeons have sex, they die?

Really?

Well, the one I fucked did.

In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle Dave...

One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.