Mute jokes
Today I asked my best friend what their favorite joke was. They started waving their hands around, and I thought it was a sign to go, thinking I had offended them or something. Turns out they were mute...
When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?
BLESSEDBRIAN is the reason they invented the mute button.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!
Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?
Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?
Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?
Doctor: *calls 911*
911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?
Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?
911 service: *hangs up*
What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.
What did Santa give the mute, blind, quadriplegic orphan at Christmas?
Chlamydia.
Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my friend was mute she said, “Can't you unmute her?”
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a silent attack.
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
What do orphans have in common with mute children?
They can't talk to their parents.
This mute kid was getting made fun of. I told him to speak up for himself.
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.
Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
I'm so mad I got arrested for rape, even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute, but how was I supposed to know? She never told me.
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?
AIDS.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.