Mother Jokes

Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.

A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.

Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"

Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.

What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?

"It's pasture bed time."

When I go to bed... my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick... and beats me with it.

your mom

Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship and I don't have time for you asap daughter daughter or your mother or your call or your choice of choice

Which sex position produces the ugliest children?

Go ask your mother.

Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.

What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.

What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- Mumbai!

Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"

Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?

Palm Sunday.