Morbid jokes
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."
What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.
"Meow, meow, I'm a dog," said the sped kid.
"Nihha scarborough face."
Jackhammer McQueerson
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
What does this mean? šš„©
Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.
Like if you blow male cows?
Like if you have balls.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
I decided today that I was going to do something with my life, something amazing, and I decided to punch a homeless man.
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
This disabled girl started rolling after me, so I ran to the stairs. š¤£š¤£ LOL