Morbid Jokes

This disabled girl stared rolling after me so I ran to the stairs 🤣🤣 LOL

All my friends live in a forest. its called Aokigahara

everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.

A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter. A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.

what do you call it when you have two indians one black and a fat white a s’more

So a lady was walking down the street with two bags and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills and a cop pulls up and he says “ma’am ma’am your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills” then she says “Oh thank you I wonder how long that’s been going on” and the cop says “ before I help you may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bill” and the Lady says “OK I’ll tell you so I live next to a stadium and I have this beautiful rose garden but he’s dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes so they stick their junk through the fence and I grabbed your junk I said $100 dollars or its coming off” the cop says “oh OK well what’s the other bag for” and she says well not all of them want to give me $100.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

So There was a male whale and a female whale swimming threw the ocean .One day the male whale sees a ship and says "that's the ship that killed my parents" . So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea. The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive so he opened his mouth and went for the man but out nowhere the female whale yells. " HEY!!, I was in it for the blowjob but I'm not gonna eat sea men"

Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex.... He died of hearing aids

What do you call an aneorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese

You know the strangest things happen my mom said step on a crack you break your Mama's back but if you step on a line you break your father's spine I stepped on the line it didn't break his spine mom who is my father?

Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!

why are people mad at me? all i did was the truth, and put the bible in the fiction section of the library.

ya make 10 paintings, you arent an artist ya make 20 meals, you arent a chef but when i kill ONE PERSON, im a "horrible person" and a "menace to society"