New Michael Jokes - Page 15 - Worst Jokes Ever

Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.

The police: You finally figured it out.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.

Where did Michael Jackson go to college?

Bring 'em young.

What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?

Parallel Parkinson's.

Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?

Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.

Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."

Actor 2: "Where's the b?"

Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.

Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!

How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?

The big hand is on the little hand!

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?

Because he's dead.

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?

What would you call a cover for your cock?

Michael is gay and sucks cock.

What did Michael Jackson find on his bedsheets?

Billie's Jeans... Hee hee!

What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?

Billie's Jeans.

This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)