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Crack

15 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A flowchart with the title "Should you buy crack" has a series of questions leading to the decision of buying crack or not. The flowchart starts with the question "Do you have money?", if no, then "Not for crack", if yes, then, a box says "Blasphemy!". After that, questions about job, payment, possession, and finally whether you have a warm hole leading all the way to "Buy some crack"

Parasite

9 views · Wade · 2 years ago

A woman with long dreadlocks and a colorful hat is pictured. The text over her reads: "Claims unborn babies are just parasites, which gives mothers the right to kill them. Doesn't realize that makes her an overgrown parasite."

Sock

2 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A close-up of a 3D rendered face with large blue eyes and a wide, toothy smile. Text at the bottom says "take them socks off."

Underwear

6 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows two panels. The first one shows an older man with a long white beard, presumably Noah, looking somewhat confused, with the text "Noah?" underneath. The second panel shows Noah with a glowing effect, as if illuminated from within, with the text "Get the boat." underneath. Above these two panels is the text: "A friend got mad at me for smelling his sister's underwear. I don't know if it was because she was still wearing them or because the rest of the family was there. Either way it made the rest of the funeral very awkward."

Friend

13 views · help me please im being abused · 2 years ago

The image shows a person with blonde hair and a red tie with his hand up in a stop gesture. A blue button with the word 'WALL' is shown in the left corner.

Harry Potter

5 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a comparison of four headshots, two from the Harry Potter movies of Draco Malfoy and Ron Weasley as young boys and two of the musicians Eminem and Ed Sheeran. The text on top says: "Remember Draco and Ron from Harry Potter? This is them now..."

Gorilla

116 views · Thoughtless · 2 years ago

experiment

The post is a text-based message with several paragraphs detailing a hypothetical scenario involving gorillas and drugs in a shopping mall.

Pronoun

7 views · Bluntlord · 2 years ago

2024

The image shows a split view of the same person. On the left, they have shorter hair, makeup and wear a green t-shirt, with the text "What are your Pronouns?" written in yellow. On the right, they are shirtless with facial hair, and text in purple that says "I'm a She/Them Titties".

Corner

5 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.

Corner

23 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Pig

47 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a babirusa on the left and a babirusa skull on the right. Below the images is the text: "THE BABIRUSA IS A WILD PIG WHOSE TUSKS CAN GROW SO LONG THEY CURVE BACKWARDS ULTIMATELY IMPALING THEIR SKULLS AND ACCIDENTALLY KILLING THEM UNLIKE JEFFREY EPSTEIN WHO WAS KILLED ON PURPOSE". The text @yup.that.exists is in the upper right of the picture.

Cop

17 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A mugshot of a man with a news headline above it that reads: "Man Running from Cops Stops to Pet Cats, Goes to Jail. Police say the Florida man led them on quite a chase. By Sherri Lonon (Patch Staff). September 3, 2014."

Suicide

66 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

An older man with glasses stands in front of a cliff and the ocean. The text below the image reads: "An Australian man living by a cliff has prevented around 160 suicides in his 50 years of living there, by shooting them himself."

Friend

42 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A snowflake image on a dark blue background with the text: "Friends are like snowflakes. When you pee on them, they disappear."

Worm

2 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A person is holding a worm up to their nose as if they are going to snort it. The text says: "If God didn't want us to snort worms... He wouldn't have made them cylindrical!!! WORM SNORTING CLUB. Every Monday and Thursday! Location changes often!" The background is a colorful, psychedelic swirl pattern.

Human

17 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a globe with the text: "FUN FACT: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown."

Disease

48 views · Chunke Monke · 2 years ago

it all makes sense now 😮😮😮

The image has the title "Cooties" followed by a definition. "Diseases that the opposite sex has that gives you a reason to not be around them. When you get older, cooties becomes known as 'STDs.'" It then gives two examples: "Age 8: 'Ewww... She has cooties, I can't talk to her!'" and "Age 15: 'Ewww... She has herpes, I can't sleep with her!'"

Shooting

31 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a Facebook post with comments about a tragic shooting, followed by a picture of a troll-face character smirking next to a computer that is on fire. The Facebook post has various comments with Todd responding to the initial tragedy with "Probably coffin brochures" and "Bullets?".

Bird

3 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A cartoon shows Big Bird, holding a camera, taking pictures of an ostrich in an enclosure. Below the image, text reads: "Big Bird photographs his enslaved bretheren, mocking them for their genetic inferiority." There is a sign in the ostrich enclosure that reads: "THE TALLEST BIRD IN THE WORLD".

Wife

4 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot from what looks like a children's show, showing a man in an orange shirt in the center with Elmo and another muppet next to him. The text says: "While the rest of them are telling Mr. Johnson not to jump, Elmo antagonizes him by telling him he fucked his wife too."

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