Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

A cartoon shows Big Bird, holding a camera, taking pictures of an ostrich in an enclosure. Below the image, text reads: "Big Bird photographs his enslaved bretheren, mocking them for their genetic inferiority." There is a sign in the ostrich enclosure that reads: "THE TALLEST BIRD IN THE WORLD".

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot from what looks like a children's show, showing a man in an orange shirt in the center with Elmo and another muppet next to him. The text says: "While the rest of them are telling Mr. Johnson not to jump, Elmo antagonizes him by telling him he fucked his wife too."

Anonymous

Ignore line & ovals

The image is a screenshot of a Facebook post. The post is a lengthy text about Islamic terrorism. The text includes a fictional dialogue that is supposed to be a parody of a conversation about terrorism. The fictional dialogue begins with a claim that the terrorists were told to act by holy texts. The fictional responses include blaming social and geopolitical reasons, accusing the terrorists of not being true Muslims, and even accepting blame for causing the terrorism.

синий напиток

🅱️haq

The image shows Shaq holding an Icy Hot package with a text that reads: "Shaq uses IcyHot to freeze his mortal enemies and later burn them to ash."

CrackedRuby_alt

Oop

A tweet from CBS News stating that a Florida man was arrested for kidnapping 27 people and forcing them to play Yahtzee for 36 hours straight. The tweet includes the man's mugshot.

M3ME G0D

The image shows a man with a confused expression. The text reads: "My blood cell's reaction after seeing me tear off a scab that took them 10 hours to make."

M3ME G0D

The text reads: "Did anyone else's parents used to drive them around neighborhoods to look at people's Christmas lights and it used to be the most exciting thing ever??"

mal

The image shows two scenes of the same bathtub. In the first scene, a person is relaxing in the tub, saying, "I am so relaxed." In the second scene, a second person has appeared in the tub, wearing a witch hat, and says, "Surprise!" The first person is clearly shocked and asks, "Why is this happening?"

BaddiePatrick

He was telling the truth in a different way...

A portrait of Isaac Newton. Above him, it says, "I like them thicc af". Below him it says, "But Sir Newton, we can't write that! Then write this: The greater the mass, the greater the force of attraction."

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

the moderator's of wje when @matt gets mad at them

A close-up image shows a man with a beard and light blue eyes looking upwards with an expression of fear or shock.

Blach66.1

Screenshot of a game of Scrabble where the player tried to use the word "BONNER", but it's invalid in the English UK dictionary. The message on the screen says "MY LIFE'S GOAL IS RUINED". The game informs the player that Scrabble uses official dictionaries.

Wade

I guess all humans are bisexual because it’s “the default”

A post on a social media platform with the title "Normal" and an emoji of a waste bin. There are two comments below. One user named Lex suggests that there is no normal, only a majority. The second user named A Wild Bean suggests that bisexuality is the human default.

GG Miller

DANG, like for a Cookie

A young boy with blond hair is wearing a green sweater and a teddy bear pinned to the front. The text on the image says: "Old people at weddings always poke me and say 'You're next.' So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals."

Toast ツ

What have we humans come to?

The image contains a list of pronouns with the title "Full list of pronouns!!". It is also mentioned that the person has lost access to their other account, and this account is temporary. The list of pronouns includes: They/them/theirs/themself, He/him/his/himself, Star/stars/starself, Xey/xem/xyr/xemself, Ze/zem/zyr/zemself, It/its/itself, Bun/buns/bunself, Dragon/dragons/dragonself, Scale/scales/scaleself, Fire/fires/fireself, Wing/wings/wingself, Hoard/hoards/hoardself, Tal/talon/talons/talonself, Fla/flame/flames/flameself, Fla/Flap/flaps/flapself, My/myth/myths/mythself. Additionally, there are emojis, mostly suns, aliens, rabbits, and fire, interspersed with the text.

EnochTyr

What happend for them to put this sign up?

A black and white image of a sign with the text "PLEASE DON'T SUMMON DEMONS IN THE BATHROOM" in a decorative font, with a pentagram at the top and a small bathtub illustration at the bottom.

msnobоdy

gonna be one of them tonight ✨

A black and white image showing a cluster of stars in a dark space background.

Cricket Green

Relate to this

A split image of a light brown monkey with a surprised expression. The text on the image says, "Them when I walk into the wrong class."

BellaTrix

I’m amazing!!!

A meme in the form of a comic strip showing different scenes from the movie Harry Potter, with Bellatrix speaking with a person in an interview and about how Sirius has matured. At the bottom is a line that says "trummy.co".

BellaTrix

Me!

A multi-panel image showing a scene from an interview with a woman, presumably Bellatrix, next to a man in a suit. In the first two panels, she says "Could she, stop, okay. Come on." and the man says, "This is my ship." The next two panels have speech bubbles, "Interview: This is about growing up on Potter then, Okay. She hasn't. She's never grown up on Potter to this day when you..." and "Interview: Do you have any stories or anything about children any of the other people being around. "It's pretty much grown up with them."" The bottom row shows her saying, "My god. So much more handsome." and him saying, "He's really gotten into a suit.". The last panel shows her saying, "He does unbelievably more mature than me but that's not saying much."

Wade

I guess bro wants our birth rate to turn into a perpendicular line. BP in a nutshell.

A screenshot of a social media post. The post starts with the text: "I'm asexual!!!! It took me 12 or so years to figure that out. The idea of intercourse between two people disgusts me so much, why would someone do that?" There are two comments below. The first comment says: "Let me guess, you had a 'wait, they're serious about that?? I thought everyone was joking!' moment? :)"

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