Worst Jokes Ever

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That Memes

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Man legally changes name to
"Big Dick" so that "these niggas
will keep my name out they
mouth"
@ju
C
He taken a selfie with a security cam?
The energy surrounding this man is mythically powerful. Truly he
is one we must fear.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A text-based image showing a conversation. The text reads: "Remembering that time in grad school when my advisor, a great ornithologist, got a random call: drunk guy, bar noises in background: IS THIS THE BIRD PROFESSOR? my advisor: um..yes? drunk guy: DO HUMMINGBIRDS HAVE FEET? my advisor: ...yes *wild cheering over phone from bar*"

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

homuratrash:
guy at disney: sir? stitch, a small logic defying blue alien from outer fucking
space, needs a heterosexual romance
disney ceo: okay....but we gotta know she's Female, do u understand?
....she needs long antennae..like long hair..mascara...smooth chest that
sticks out a little more because we need to be reminded that she still got
titties even tho she's a tiny fucking alien
guy at disney: should we make her pink, sir?
disney ceo: ricky you goddamn genius. here are my keys. go to my house
and fuck my wife

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A large, colorful beach ball, with a man standing next to it. The text below the image reads: "A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."

Heroin Monkey

Big Bird is standing looking downward. Below him text reads: "Big Bird once again kindly offers money to homeless Oscar. He knows fully well that Oscar would immediately use it to fulfill his heroin addiction, which is precisely what he wants. Enough money to help him stay addicted, but not enough to get him to quit or die. An endless cycle of suffering that keeps him throbbingly erect at night."

Heroin Monkey

The text says "Schrödinger's blowjob?" followed by a description of a hypothetical scenario. It states that while blindfolded one receives the best blowjob ever. The identity of the person is not known and it could be anyone such as Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold or even the fireman's cat. The question asked is if you would take off the blindfold to find out, or just leave it on.

Heroin Monkey

A three-panel image from the movie Harry Potter. In each panel, Albus Dumbledore stands in a white space. The first panel reads, "Do not pity the dead Harry,". The second panel reads, "Pity the living.". The third panel reads, "And above all else, pity those that look at the top right corner."

Heroin Monkey

The Banana Guy

A white cat with black spots is in focus, staring at the viewer. The text on the image reads: "I HATE WHEN WEBSITES ASK: "ARE YOU A HUMAN?" LIKE NO, I'M A DINOSAUR THAT FORGOT TO DIE 100 MILLION YEARS AGO"

NGC 6611

A baby with a mischievous grin sits in a field, hands clasped together. Text overlay reads: "When you yell 'GREEN' during a Kahoot question knowing that the answer is actually blue."

Anonymous

A news screen shows breaking news about an assassination attempt on Trump with a live chat on the side where people are commenting.

Anonymous

The meme shows a split image. The top part is a screenshot of a character from Team Fortress 2 on the phone, saying "I don't care if I only hit his bloody ear. I want my cash, and I want my immunity, Joe, that was the bloody deal, alright? Did you not take your pills this morning or something, Joe?". The bottom part shows Joe Biden on the phone in front of a field filled with forklifts, saying "No, no, I just want to find out if I can return 23 forklifts here. This morning men unloaded them onto my lawn and demanding money. No warning. I just want to know where I can send them back."

A Star Wars Fan

The image shows a two-panel cartoon with a person labeled “Me” reaching for a yellow ball labeled “Sleeping”. The second panel shows “Me” still reaching for the sleeping ball, but now they are being grabbed from behind by a pink creature labeled “The crumbs on my bed that magically appeared.”

Heroin Monkey

A photo of Jeffrey Epstein with text describing his alleged experiences in prison. The text says 'be epstein. chilling in cell. clintons come in, forcefully cover you in oil. they leave. that was weird but okay, at least they didn't kill me. the sprinkler turns on. shoot upwards and break neck on ceiling.'

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a close-up of a character from the Mortal Kombat video game with its skin torn off. The text on the image reads "When the voices bet me a cigar that I can't tear my skin off." Below the image is the text "THESCHIZOPHRENIC WINS", followed by "FLAWLESS VICTORY."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows three portraits of Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, and Isaac Newton under the text "People whom are normally thought to be the smartest in the world." Below, there is an image of a silhouette of a person's head with a question mark in place of a face, followed by the text: "The actual smartest person in the world: The guy that made toilet paper turn red when you've finished wiping."

Anonymous

The image shows a definition of "Anatidaephobia" which is "The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you." It adds that Jimmy has anatidaephobia. Under the text is an image of a white duck which is smiling. Under the image are the words "Your ass is mine, Jimmy."

A Star Wars Fan

The image shows a cartoon representing different national teams as balls with their respective flags, each in their group for the EURO 2024. Each "countryball" expresses a different sentiment or makes a joke related to their football reputation or chances in the tournament. The text across the image shows dialog and commentary for each country.

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a tweet warning people not to click a link that supposedly leads to LeBron James nudes, because it's a virus that turns on caps lock.

Heroin Monkey

A boy playing violin for Ernie from Sesame Street. Ernie says, "That was amazing, Jason! I've never heard such an accurate rendition of several cats getting run over by a lawnmower."

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