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Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?

The image contains a conversation between Alastor and Charlie. Alastor says, "You know, Charlie, thanks to your hotel scheme, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life and death." Charlie replies, "Yes! Good, Al! Like what?" Alastor then lists, "All the usual things: my first ever radio broadcast, helping my mother cook, and being the first ever person to actually strangle someone with their intestines."

A screenshot of the Google Play Store page for the Kuda money app, which is advertised as being for Africans. Text overlaid on the image questions the phrasing, suggesting the app is for "Africans for money".

The image shows the development of a person through four stages of life. In the first picture, the figure is an old man with a hat standing next to a door, the second picture is a man sitting on a chair with a question mark, and the third picture is a man kneeling with a stressed expression, the last picture is a boy drawing on an easel. The text "It starts with" is at the top. The text "one thing" is near the beginning. The text "I don't know why" is above the next picture. The text "It doesn't even matter how hard you try" is above the last picture.

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

A meme featuring a waitress in an Olive Garden restaurant, who asks: "Would you like to start out with our unlimited salad and breadsticks this evening?" Ben Shapiro appears to the right with the text: "that is literally impossible."

The image shows a comparison of two images of trucks with the text 'how it started' and 'how it's going' written above it. The first image on the left shows a white truck with its front hood open and two cartoon hands pointing at the vehicle. The second image on the right shows two trucks in a romantic embrace, framed by a red heart. The image also has the user name "dexter" and the handle "@DexterSoWhat" and the text "So now even trucks getting more love than me?"

A painting of Vlad the Impaler wearing a red hat and ornate clothing, with the text "It's never too late to follow your dreams. Vlad the Impaler didn't even start impaling people until his mid-30s."

A screenshot of a Change.org petition page with the title "Make Shrek the National Bird". The page shows a picture of Shrek with a U.S. flag background. The petition has 161,843 signatures out of a goal of 200,000, and it was started April 28, 2017 and addressed to President Donald J. Trump and 2 others.

The image shows a four-panel comic. The first panel depicts a box with arrows pointing outwards and the text "Pressurized gas pushes its container". The second panel shows a figure with a trollface boiling water. The third panel shows a figure with a trollface putting steam into a piston. The fourth panel shows a steam train with a trollface on it and the text "Start industrial revolution".

A cartoon character, Ralph, looks up with a confused expression. The text on the image says, 'When you unplug all the noisy beeping machines in the hospital and everyone starts sleeping better. Why do I fix everything I touch?'

The Radio Demon

true fr

The image shows a text on the top that says: "when your taking a shower and the spider in the corner starts crawling down". The bottom image shows Elsa from Frozen with a scared face, her right hand with icy elements in the air.

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

A person with brown hair and a black and white jacket sits on an orange couch with a grey patterned background. The text below the image says "epstein list releases" and "ecelebs start leaving the platform".

i know what i’m naming my child

A Google search results page for the search term "p girl names." The results include typical names like "Paige," "Patricia," and "Penelope," but also lists "Pakistan International Airlines."

The image shows a series of posts. The first post asks, "Remember in college you were making out with Betty from your CompSci class and she put a finger up your butt. So you started questioning your sexual preference?" with a reply, "IT WAS MY FINGER BARRY!". The second post starts with, "Remember when you were jacking off with no clothes on for the first time just to try it out? Remember when your Mom walked by and saw everything, even though you were sure that you had closed the door?" followed by the reply, "It was me, Barry! I opened the door! And don't think for a moment that I didn't see everything too!!". The third post reads, "Remember that wet dream that ruined your favorite cartoon bed spread as a teen?!" with the reply "IT WAS ME, BARRY! I JERKED YOU OFF IN YOUR SLEEP!!"

The image is split into two. On the left is a vintage black-and-white image of a smiling soldier holding a lit cigarette. On the right is a color photo of a person with a purple bandana, pink hair and tattoos. Above the soldier image is the text "My generation is going to start a revolution!!!" Below the color photo is the text "Your generation can't even start a lawnmower."

A cartoon image of Rick and Morty characters from the TV show Rick and Morty with the text: "When someone starts expressing their feelings in an honest, sincere way instead of having the decency to turn their pain into humorous cynicism like a normal person."

Fr though

The image shows Baby Yoda looking a bit skeptical or unimpressed. Above the image, there is text that reads, "Friend: I thought you said you were gonna go on a new diet, when you gonna start? Me: The 1st of NEVERUARY."

𝔇𝔞𝔤𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔍𝔯.

THE WJE PURGE HAS STARTED!

A black and white image shows a man with a mustache wearing glasses and a headset and smoking a cigarette. Below him in large white letters are the words "HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS".

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