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Diarrhea

15 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A young person is sitting on a bench, looking at their phone. Below the image is text that asks "IS YOUR CHILD TEXTING ABOUT their diarrhea?" followed by a list of funny definitions for common texting abbreviations. For example, "brb = bathroom bonanza", "lol = lots of liquid", and "smh = so many hemorrhoids".

Shit

32 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

Parody

12 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a journal entry, drawn in the style of 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid.' The narrator, Greg Heffley, writes about his brother Manny. A comic strip illustrates Manny asking for help to tie his shoes in baby talk ("I'm onwee thwee, bubby! Hewp me tie my gawddayum shoes."). Greg responds in a speech bubble ("DATS FOWR NAWT TEACHING ME HOW TWO TIE MY SHOES, YOU FUCKING PLOOPY."). Below, Greg is shown kicking Manny, who flies into a wall causing cracks. The text continues with a consequence from Mom, where she shoots Greg in both legs, breaking his kneecaps.

Boyfriend

1 view · Chexers · 2 years ago

dont do that shit to ur gf, im tryna give u a warning

A man labeled "BF" is pouring gasoline from a red container onto a bonfire labeled "Angry GF" with the text bubble "Relax, babe." above him.

Sweet bro

5 views · The Unknown King of Moderation · 2 years ago

Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff

The image is a four-panel comic strip titled "SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF". In the first panel, a character with a red shirt and black hair is holding a stack of games, saying he can't wait to be a useless piece of shit and play them all day. The second panel shows the same character falling down the stairs, with the text "FUCK IM FALLING DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS". The third panel shows another character with a blue shirt, a yellow note on his head saying "I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO!!!", while also saying "I TOLD YOU, DOG!" The fourth panel shows the red-shirt character falling down the stairs again, saying "IT KEEPS HAPPENING". Below these four panels, there is another panel featuring the blue-shirt character with a pixelated face and a white background with blue and red pixel art and the text: "I TOLD YOU MAN", and below "I TOLD YOU ABOUT STAIRS!"

Plane

156 views · ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡 · 1 year ago

Type shit.

A view from the cockpit of a plane aimed at the Twin Towers and the Statue of Liberty in the background.

Fat

4 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

Oop- get called out

A screenshot of a tweet by user @selfluvnbbg. The tweet reads, "What do boys even find attractive about boobs, they are literally balls of fat on my chest. IF YOU CAN LOVE ME FOR THE FAT ON MY CHEST WHY CAN'T YOU LOVE ME FOR THE FAT ON MY STOMACH YOU PIECE OF SHIT."

Shrek

3 views · Wade · 2 years ago

Shrek Harvey

A picture of a Shrek statue with Steve Harvey's face photoshopped on it, next to a young girl with Steve Harvey's face on her, with a tweet above that says "stop sending me this shit".

Walmart

2 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

The image features a photograph of rapper Eminem making a goofy, scary face. He is wearing a red baseball cap and a dark blue tracksuit, with his hands raised in a claw-like gesture. The text overlay at the top reads: "Me scaring the shit out of an unsupervised baby at Walmart."

Drunk

16 views · Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A man is looking at his phone. The text says: "Dude, you're drunk, you can barely walk." Yeah no shit, that's why I'm gonna drive home, dumbass.

Man

19 views · United Kingdom UK · 1 year ago

A night scene with a foggy street, houses, and cars with the text: "yall gotta stop vaping man i cant see shit out here".

Announcement

4 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

The image shows an email inbox with several emails visible. One email, from "William" at "Counseling Commons," contains offensive language such as "Hello Fucktard," "You smell like cat shit," and "Kill yourself." Another email is from Dr. [redacted]. Text overlaid on the image reads "who hurt the principle dawg" along with crying emojis and TikTok usernames.

Shit

35 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Underwear

8 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

Wtf is this shit and why do I kinda want it

A picture shows a black cat heating pad placed inside a pair of black underwear. There is a control and the USB cord. Additional pairs of underwear are stacked. The text on the image says "Shop now", "Crimmy Period Underwear Panties for Teens Women, 3 Leak ...", "Amazon", and "Sponsored".

Family

23 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white image styled as a page from a 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' book. The text describes a dark scenario: 'DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF. Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom turned around, I tell you she looked batshit crazy. She was holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.' The accompanying illustration shows a character (Mom or Rodrick) pointing a gun at another character (Greg) while Dad lies on the floor. A speech bubble says 'I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FUCKING LEGS GREG.' Another character (Bubby) points and yells 'BUBBY DID IT!' The narrator concludes: 'HE had to fuck shit up.' The page number 10 is at the bottom.

Batman

2 views · Wade · 2 years ago

Shits about to go down

The image shows Batman standing in the rain with a large light projecting the bat signal. The text says "You know, shit's about to get real when Batman calls for Batman."

Autocorrect

1 view · Anonymous · 1 year ago

An image of an iPhone message thread. One message says, "Missing u like crazy rn.." The response is, "What the fuck." Then, the first person writes, "Shit autoco" and "Autocorrect." Below that is a message from AT&T stating, "All of the add'l 1GB of shared data added to your plan in this billing period is used. We've added another shared 1GB FOR $15 to your plan for use through 3/20/2022. Avoid add'l data charges by using our..."

Liberal

27 views · Willy b · 6 months ago

A two-panel image. The top panel shows former President Donald Trump with his hands cupped around his mouth, as if shouting. Above him, the text reads: "Don't eat your own shit!" The bottom panel shows a man with bright blue hair and closed eyes, his face and hands covered in a dark, messy substance. Below him, the text reads: "Libs".

Storm

Drakes snake · 1 year ago

FR

A man stands next to a barbecue grill with a very large fire, accompanied by the text, "When you know what you're about to say is gonna cause a s*** storm, but you say it anyway."

Dad

1 view · aidencool67 · 1 year ago

my dad is good

A video still shows a bicycle in the street and the text "Holy shit! Your dad is a good biker." The video is taken at night.

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