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Shitpost master-general

Soles

A four-panel comic strip. In the first three panels, a woman and a man are hanging Christmas stockings over a fireplace. The woman questions the tradition, saying, "Stockings are kind of a weird concept. Like, who came up with it? Who thought pulling things out of socks would be so exciting?" In the fourth panel, Santa Claus is sitting at a desk, looking intently at a laptop screen which displays a grid of photos/video feeds showing various close-ups of bare feet. Santa says, "Hell yeah."

A screenshot of a movie review for 'Free Guy 2021'. The post shows the movie poster featuring Ryan Reynolds and a low rating (one green star). The text reads: 'Watched August 20, 2021. got pulled over for speeding on the way to see this and i wish the cop killed me.' The review has 1005 likes.

A screenshot of a dark mode text post displays an explicit fanfiction excerpt. A picture of Walter White from Breaking Bad, wearing his Heisenberg hat and glasses, with a beard, is superimposed over the text. Red circles highlight Walter White's face, the words 'Say my name,' and 'name.' The text describes a highly suggestive scene where a character is 'trembling from restraint' and eventually pleads, 'Please. I need you. Say my name.' The final sentence reads: 'He's falling apart. He's breaking. You're making him burn, and he loves every second of it.'

Proof that Heroin Monkey is OPAL

A screenshot of an online chat conversation. Multiple users are present: IndieRockBoat, RapBoat, Opal, Cosmo the Intern, and Heroin Monkey. The conversation shows IndieRockBoat repeatedly asking "Any of you listen to indie rock?" and then stating "sorry I live in McDonald's my internet is bad." RapBoat then comments, "That's how I know it's Heroin Monkey, he ALWAYS does that." Opal then insults RapBoat with crude language, which RapBoat then repeats back, seemingly as if impersonating Opal, and adds further crude remarks. The critical exchange occurs at the end: RapBoat asks, "You want me to pull an AG???" Heroin Monkey replies, "yes." Immediately after, RapBoat types, "Heroin Monkey yes." Below this, a final line states, "Bro forgot to switch alts."

A screenshot of a tweet from user Plain As Day Quavo. The tweet text reads 'Saw people were sharing their favorite lyrics so here's some of mine'. Below are four square panels. The top left panel shows a person covering their face, with the text 'through them hospital doors' and 'FLUSHING SCOTCH "COUGH SYRUP" COYOTE'. The top right panel shows Eminem with a boombox, with the text 'Meanwhile my attention's pulled in another direction. Some receptionist' and 'EMINEM "LIKE TOY SOLDIERS"'. The bottom left panel shows Robert Palmer, with the text 'Doctor, doctor, gimme the news' and 'ROBERT PALMER "BAD CASE OF LOVING YOU (DOCTOR, DOCTOR)"'. The bottom right panel shows Bob Geldof, with the text 'Something's wrong. She was lying on the bed. Crying when I walked in' and 'BOB GELDOF "I CRY TOO"'. Each lyric quote is enclosed in double quotes.

A bald man is featured with the text "the urge to pull this cute hairstyle when my hair keeps testing me."

A woman is in a video game. The text reads: "Me in the marvel rivals universe trying to pull the beads out of Luna show 🍑 hole but icy dookie chips keeps tugging me."

Shrek is sitting with a serious look on his face, with his hands crossed. Above him, white text on a black background reads: "When u and hb argue, you slowly start pulling back your dihh foreskin like a samurai unsheathing his blade, letting him know he's in danger."

FUCKING GENIUS

A split-screen shows a California identification card with a photo next to another, seemingly more intoxicated photo of the same person. The image text reads: "Smoked before my ID picture so when I get pulled over high I look normal."

A screenshot of a Google search result for "adolf hitler cause of death". The result states "Suicide" followed by a humorous and fictional account: "when Hitler challenged Anne Frank to a duel, he aimed and pulled the trigger, however his gun was made in America. The bullet could sense the Nazism in Hitler's finger s, and turned around in midair, screaming "Right back at ya, buckaroo" and killed Hitler."

William Dafoe smiles widely as the words of the meme are written above him.

explain bear pull up I dare you >:(

A small, tabby kitten is sitting down and pointing a black handgun forward.

A Twitter post showing a tweet that says, "mosquitoes nowadays be pullin down ya socks to bite you." The next tweet replies, "like how tf did this appear on my ankle." The third tweet replies, "wish they would pull down my pants and."

The image shows a text box above an image. The text says, "I fucked my hamster to death. Am I a psychopath? Basically I was fucking my hamster, like I usually do. But then I forgot to pull out. The hamster had cum leaking from its eyes and mouth. Then it exploded. I felt no remorse. Am I a psychopath?" Below is an image of a cartoon bear with an angry expression.

The text at the top reads, "the homeless man watching me pull out a .357 revolver and paint the sidewalk with my own brains after he asked me for a dollar." Below the text, a picture of Rick Grimes from The Walking Dead, played by Andrew Lincoln, shows his intense, wide-eyed expression.

A close-up shot shows a hand holding the zipper pull of a pair of blue jeans.

A man with a beard and a red shirt is sweating and smiling broadly. In the background are digital cards, including one of LeBron James in a USA jersey. The text reads, "BUSTED A FAT NUT AFTER PULLING RARE USA BRON BRON CARD. CashNastyReacts, 54K views, 20 hours ago."

A text message conversation. The first message says, "What's up?" The second says, "Dude, you're going to kill me. I was a little drunk last night and talking to your wife and I ended up banging her car in the driveway when I pulled out. I think I hit your daughter's bike too. I'll come fix it later, but please say sorry for me to your wife." The third message says, "Not delivered". The last message says "and your daughter".

A Twitter post with a user asking a hypothetical question about getting their penis stuck in a ketchup bottle, followed by two replies.

A group of people are sitting at a table and look shocked while a man is standing on the table with his arms wide open. A speech bubble says: "I'm Bruis Best". The text above says: Pov: what Americans see when Scots pull up to the soft drink convention.

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