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Shot

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a meme comparing the reactions of three U.S. presidents, Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy, and Theodore Roosevelt, to being shot. For Ronald Reagan, the text says he "gets shot once," "cries about it," and "immediately enacts gun control like a scared baby." For John F. Kennedy, it says he "gets shot twice," "eats the first shot for breakfast," and the "second shot blows his brains all over his wife on live TV like a boss." For Theodore Roosevelt, it says he "gets shot once while giving a speech in front of a huge audience," "laughs it off," and "continues to give his speech for the next hour while roasting the would-be assassin."

Cat

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

The meme shows a four-panel grid. The first panel shows a portrait of Mozart. The second panel shows a stick figure sitting at a table with a bowl, saying "He will never be a catboy" in a speech bubble. The third panel contains text that reads: "Less well known, however, is that Mozart liked to imitate a cat. He'd be rehearsing an opera with his singers, when he'd suddenly grow bored and leap over tables and chairs, meowing and turning somersaults. He even". The fourth panel shows a stick figure spitting out its cereal in surprise.

Love

andie · 3 years ago

The image shows a cloudy sky with an orange hue, and the text says, "Even though you didn't love me if I could turn back time I wouldn't change a thing, in fact I'd fall in love with you all over again."

JFK

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡 · 3 years ago

sus

The image is a black and white picture of John F. Kennedy with text overlay that reads: "MY FAVORITE SEX POSITION IS THE JFK. I SPLATTER ALL OVER HER WHILE SHE SCREAMS AND TRIES TO GET OUT OF THE CAR."

Cat

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A boy playing violin for Ernie from Sesame Street. Ernie says, "That was amazing, Jason! I've never heard such an accurate rendition of several cats getting run over by a lawnmower."

Book

blach66 · 3 years ago

Homer Simpson is holding a blue book with the title "Am I Disabled?" on it. A smaller character is shown on the cover with a construction hat and a cigarette in his mouth. Question marks are scattered around him. The text above shows: "POV: My teacher wants us to read one book over the holidays. The book I chose:"

Man

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A picture of a couple followed by a picture of a dead Godzilla lying on a small cart. The text above the couple says, "Me n my man bit yawl holes jelust ova us we luk gud af yawl holes caint half my man and I downt wont nun yawl Brook ass dood Eva." The text above the dead Godzilla says, "Godzilla had a stroke trying to read this and fucking died."

Kid

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A child sits in a high chair covered in spaghetti and sauce with a green food tray in front of him. The text overlay reads, "He threw a piece of bread at me so I flipped his lil dumbass over. Fuck them kids."

Dick

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A meme featuring a portrait of John F. Kennedy next to a block of text that reads: "I'm over here stroking my dick. I got lotion on my dick. Rn, I'm just stroking my shit. I'm horny as fuck man. - John F. Kennedy"

Time

Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

A text-based image showing a conversation. The text reads: "Remembering that time in grad school when my advisor, a great ornithologist, got a random call: drunk guy, bar noises in background: IS THIS THE BIRD PROFESSOR? my advisor: um..yes? drunk guy: DO HUMMINGBIRDS HAVE FEET? my advisor: ...yes *wild cheering over phone from bar*"

Glock

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a cartoon of Dr. Doofenshmirtz with a sinister grin. The text above the image reads: "How I feel after using my newest inator (my Glock) to zap (murder) Perry the Playtypus (innocent bystanders) and take over the tri-state area (the alcohol section of the grocery store)."

Baptism

Chri5 · 3 years ago

Crap, not again

An image shows a painting of a man with a halo holding a book. Text reads: "When the ceremony's been over for hours and you remember you didn't take the baby out of the water after the baptism." The book reads "AMORIS LAETITIA".

Racial slur

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A meme showing text above an image from the video game Hello Neighbor. The text reads: "Me walking down to the family dinner pretending that I didn't just yell racial slurs to a 10yo over a game:". The image below shows the character known as The Neighbor walking down a staircase in a house. A small instruction in the game UI says "GO DOWNSTAIRS TO KITCHEN". A watermark '@sigma_gorilla' is visible in the bottom left corner.

Private

Anonymous · 2 years ago

Sadly

The image contrasts a waterfall with a milk jug. The text above reads, "Ejaculating in private vs. when I have a girl over."

Racist

MEME LORD · 1 year ago

An image shows the headline: "KKK Leaders Started Stabbing Each Other Over Argument About Who's The Most Racist." Below the headline is a mugshot of a man with two black eyes and a cut on his nose. Underneath is a comment that reads "Klash of Klans."

Ohio

9ddytwasdfcgvhbjk65e4w35s4e6drtyiuopuy6 · 3 years ago

Ohio smh

A news graphic shows the United States map completely filled in by the state of Ohio. The headline reads "Ohio took over America". There is a small text at the bottom that reads "Oh god oh f**k they're getting stronger says Canada."

Cinema worker

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A square-headed man is staring intensely. The text reads: "how the cinema worker looks at me when I yell 'water bucket release' and piss all over the family of 4 in front of me."

Battery

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A man is smiling while looking at his phone in bed. The text says, "when you finally have enough battery percentage to roll over on the other side of the bed."

Man

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Reddit post that reads: "I agree unironically. If a 'man' is so light I can overhead press him for a set, then me filling his asshole with my seed isn't actually gay. I'm just enforcing the natural order by asserting my dominance over him. I've fucked like 6 or 7 guys since highschool and I don't consider myself gay at all."

Country

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows the text 'Middle Eastern countries on their way to fight over the same piece of desert in the middle of nowhere for the 1000th time (the god poopenfarten said it belonged to them)' above an image of Thanos, with a sword, ready to fight.

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