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Salt

12 views · Anonymous · 2 years ago

Would be funny but I’d rather not get beat to death.

The image shows a text conversation followed by two close-up photos of animals. The text reads: "Me: *having dinner at her house*. Her: can you pass the salt daddy? Me and her father reaching out for the salt." The animals are a dog looking slightly surprised on the left and a cat looking innocently on the right.

Semen

21 views · Anonymous · 2 years ago

English spelling at its finest.

A screenshot of a Tumblr post. The first post reads, "You can't spell 'advertisements' without 'semen' between the 'tits'." The second post asks, "What in the fuck did I just read?" The third post says, "Not all heroes wear capes".

Idea

2 views · Anonymous · 2 years ago

Genuine question to you all

The image is a table with the title "How are you still alive!?" There are eight numbered rows, each with a different answer: #1 "I'm not." #2 "I HAVE NO IDEA!" #3 "I had to go to work today." #4 "I'm doing science and I'm still alive." #5 "Too much swag." #6 "$7.52". #7 "yro'ue" and #8 "Spite". There's a signature "Bc" in the top right corner.

Stand

9 views · Anonymous · 2 years ago

A cartoon image of Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc. is shown with a distorted background of swirling patterns in pink and yellow. The text above Mike reads, "When you stand up too fast and have to stand still for 10 seconds trying not to black out."

Idea

2 views · Anonymous · 2 years ago

My friend is has the best ideas

A screenshot of a discord conversation. Windy says that hopefully a bad situation wont happen, and the two friends might work it out. Seth replies with 'Eh'. Windy then says if the situation happens too much, to just put the persons parents in a retirement home. Seth replies with 'Lmao'.

Company

18 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a two-panel comparison. The top panel is a picture of a woman looking distressed with the text "Designers, when a company hires another designer" and "Am I not enough?". The bottom panel shows a picture of a chimpanzee with the text "Engineers, when company hires another engineer" and "Apes together strong."

Dwarf

73 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A four-panel image using screenshots from Star Wars. In the first panel an editor states that the plural of 'dwarf' is 'dwarfs' not 'dwarves'. The second panel shows Tolkien asking 'Are you threatening me?' The third panel shows the editor declaring 'The Dictionary will decide your fate.' Finally, the fourth panel shows Tolkien stating 'I wrote the Dictionary.'

Studio

3 views · RapBoat · 2 years ago

Holiday

16 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a comic panel with two characters. On the left side, a 'soyjak' character initially says, "Easter was actually originally a pagan holiday!" then in the second row, he is saying, "BUT WE ...", and in the third he is crying saying, "THAT'S NOT...". On the right side, a man in a priest garb is saying, "Keep complaining and we'll take Toyotathon and make it a Christian holiday too." Then in the second row, he says "You just lost Shark Week", and in the third, "SHARK WEEK IS A WEEK LONG CHRISTIAN FESTIVAL NOW."

Drug

36 views · Wade · 2 years ago

The image is a three-panel comic strip showing Spider-Man standing above Moon Knight. Spider-Man says, "It's over, Moon Knight! I have the high ground!". Moon Knight replies, "Impossible. You don't even know how many drugs I'm on right now. That's not what I--". In the third panel, Moon Knight is moving quickly and says, "Less talk, more VENGEANCE!!"

Ear

2 views · ♢ Shy Dragon ♢ · 2 years ago

The image shows a series of illustrations depicting various ear arrangements on a human and cat-like figures. The first row includes a human with cat ears, a human with only cat ears, and a human with hidden human ears labeled "Schrödinger's ears". The second row shows a human with cat ears on the side, a human with human ears on the top and a cat labeled with question marks. The third row depicts a cat with different ear arrangements, labeled with question marks, "???++", and "Hellspawn". The last row includes a human with two sets of cat ears, a pink blob with many ears with the text "I'm all ear" and a collection of eyes with ears with the text "do not be afraid".

Kid

7 views · DAP ME UP · 2 years ago

The image shows a two-panel meme. The top panel is a pink square with the text "GOT NO KIDS?" at the top, followed by the text "Hire a babysitter anyway. Say your kid is asleep upstairs and must not be disturbed. Then upon your return, ask where your child is." with a vintage cartoon couple enjoying a meal at the top. The bottom panel shows a red cartoon figure with horns and a confused expression labeled "Satan:".

Pronunciation

17 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The text on the image says: POV: The average British person when you say tuesday and not 'chewsday'. Below the text, there is an image of a knight fighting another person in a wooded area.

Sadness

15 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A three-panel comic strip showing a person with a sad cloud over their head. In the first panel, the person thinks "not today, sadness.". In the second panel, a winged person uses a mop to wipe away the cloud of sadness. In the third panel, the person stares at a vacuum cleaner hanging from the ceiling.

Body

27 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A picture of Cristiano Ronaldo with a smug smile. Above him, there is text saying: "when my car gets stolen but realise the body in the trunk is not my problem anymore."

Call

18 views · Anonymous · 2 years ago

Not mine, but still funny

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first message bubble on the left says "i called". The second message bubble on the right says "i watched it ring". Below the second message it says "Read 10:02 AM".

Dog

4 views · Thoughtless · 2 years ago

The image is a four-panel comic. The upper left panel shows a small stick figure on a rock outcropping saying in a speech bubble, "Not all dogs are good boys." The upper right panel shows a crowd of angry looking stick figures with weapons. The lower left panel shows the same stick figure on a rock saying, "Some are good girls." The lower right panel shows the crowd of stick figures now smiling.

Tuesday

3 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a scene from a movie with two figures fighting with swords. The text above the image reads, 'POV: The average British person when you say Tuesday and not 'chewsday'.'

Life

2 views · ♢ Shy Dragon ♢ · 2 years ago

This definitely works

The image is a drawing with four separate life tips on how to make your friends like you more. First, a person is smiling and has a feather tucked in their collar bone, it says 'do a smile to make yourself look like you are not completely dead inside' and 'hold a feather to let your friend know you are not harmful anymore and it is all in the past.' Second, the same person is wearing a lace glove, it says 'wear a single lace glove to show that you have a delicate touch.' Third, it says 'why not wear an outfit that really shows off your figure'. Fourth, a blonde person is holding a leash attached to a dog. It says 'borrow a dog or a child of your choice so people will want to talk to you more'.

Math test

39 views · Wade · 2 years ago

Spider-Man and Deadpool are sitting at desks in a classroom. Spider-Man is writing on his test with a pen. Deadpool is writing with scissors. There is text that reads: "Pssst, spidey, what'd you get for number seven?" "Dude, shut up! I don't wanna get in trouble!" "I got Waterloo." "This is a math test!" Are we not going to talk about the fact that deadpool is writing with scissors.

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