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Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Man legally changes name to
"Big Dick" so that "these niggas
will keep my name out they
mouth"
@ju
C
He taken a selfie with a security cam?
The energy surrounding this man is mythically powerful. Truly he
is one we must fear.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A tweet from Joe Heenan stating he wrote a script during lockdown and received an email from someone at Netflix. The email reads, Dear Mr. Heenan, Thank you for the script, it's one of the best we have ever read. The writing is superb, it's tense, funny & non stop action. The only problem is it's the script to Die Hard. You literally sent us the script to Die Hard & changed the title to Mr. No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas. Never contact us again.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A marble sculpture of a frog from the Shang Dynasty (1600-1045 B.C.). Credit and Collection: Sotheby's.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Two people outside. A person is covered in bees, sitting on a bucket. The other person, dressed in beekeeper gear, is kneeling next to him, holding out a hand.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Two images of a green caterpillar, one showing it from the side, and the other showing it from the front. The text above the images reads: "so what you're saying is.. this lil guy runs japan.." and "This is the Japanese Emperor Caterpillar."

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

An image of a night sky with a projection of Steve Harvey's face made of light dots over Atlanta. A user comments that the lights are just stars.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

The image is a comic strip showing three panels. In the first panel, an elderly man in military attire is talking to a younger man sitting next to him, who is also playing a video game. The text says, "WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I DEFEATED THE NAZIS IN HOLLAND." The younger man responds, "You have to let me go, grandpa. It's not your fault you inspired me to join the military. I knew the risks when I signed up. It was my choice." In the second panel, the younger man fades and becomes translucent. The text says, "Men shouldn't die so young." In the third panel, the elderly man is sitting alone on the chair.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A text-based image showing a conversation. The text reads: "Remembering that time in grad school when my advisor, a great ornithologist, got a random call: drunk guy, bar noises in background: IS THIS THE BIRD PROFESSOR? my advisor: um..yes? drunk guy: DO HUMMINGBIRDS HAVE FEET? my advisor: ...yes *wild cheering over phone from bar*"

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

homuratrash:
guy at disney: sir? stitch, a small logic defying blue alien from outer fucking
space, needs a heterosexual romance
disney ceo: okay....but we gotta know she's Female, do u understand?
....she needs long antennae..like long hair..mascara...smooth chest that
sticks out a little more because we need to be reminded that she still got
titties even tho she's a tiny fucking alien
guy at disney: should we make her pink, sir?
disney ceo: ricky you goddamn genius. here are my keys. go to my house
and fuck my wife

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

The image shows a gun firing a bullet. Next to it, there's a man wearing a bullet as clothing with the text "Why not wear a JACKET PROOF BULLET?" above the man.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

The image shows a split view of John F. Kennedy. On the left a black-and-white photo inside a red circle shows Kennedy riding in a car during a parade, on the right a color portrait of Kennedy smiling. Below, the text "You'll never believe what happened at this parade (it blew my mind)" is shown. A YouTube interface is at the bottom with the channel name "JFK".

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A large, colorful beach ball, with a man standing next to it. The text below the image reads: "A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

A four-panel cartoon shows a father talking to his son in the first panel, saying "...and under no circumstance should you ever hit a woman." The second panel shows the son, now an adult, sitting on a bed with a woman in front of him on all fours and saying "Spank me, Kenny." The third panel shows Kenny saying "No." The fourth panel shows the father behind Kenny saying "I'm proud of you, son."

Childhood fears

The image is split into two parts. The left side contains the text: "My mom: Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Me after accidentally sleeping loose:". On the right side, there's a picture of a white cat with black spots on its head being grabbed by a large, orange toy with red tentacles, resembling a monster.

The image shows a celestial body such as an asteroid impacting the Earth. The text reads: "This will affect the trout population I think."

The image shows text stating "I ran out of condoms and lube. But, no worries, I've got back up." Above the "But, no worries" line, there is an image of lube and condoms, and below it, there are images of Ziploc bags, rubber bands, and WD-40.

The image contains two parts. The upper part of the image shows the following text: "nothing is fun anymore" throwing bricks at oncoming traffic. The bottom part of the image displays a full-body picture of Mercy, a character from the game Overwatch, who has wings and flies in a landscape with a yellowish and orange color

A foot holding a blunt, with text above saying "Gonna get fucked up tn."

A map shows the area of Israel and surrounding territories. Text overlays the map, stating: "That's it, you guys couldn't behave. The Kurds get Israel." The word "Kurdistan" is written over Israel.

Big Bird is standing looking downward. Below him text reads: "Big Bird once again kindly offers money to homeless Oscar. He knows fully well that Oscar would immediately use it to fulfill his heroin addiction, which is precisely what he wants. Enough money to help him stay addicted, but not enough to get him to quit or die. An endless cycle of suffering that keeps him throbbingly erect at night."

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