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Heroin Monkey
2 months ago
A screenshot of a Reddit post from r/Kanye, labeled NSFW. The title asks, 'Is it still ethical to jiggle my johnson to Kanye songs?' The body text below is a 'DISCUSSION' post starting with 'A while ago, I discovered that certain Kanye songs caused me to become ithyphallic...' and continues with a lengthy description of the user's masturbation habits, influenced by Kanye West's music and recent controversies. It ends by asking for an alternative suggestion like 'Jordan Terrell Carter'.
  • 0
  • Evil Duck Lords Of America
    6 months ago
    The image is a two-panel comic. In the first panel, a duck is struggling to hold an oversized smartphone, with a speech bubble saying, "Must... Send... Text..." In the second panel, the same duck is holding a small smartphone, exclaiming, "OOH! LOOK AT THIS ADORABLE, USELESS THING!"
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    7 months ago
    A collage of stock photos. A man eats a small watermelon, surrounded by watermelons. A man is giving a thumbs-up while wearing a watermelon on his head. A man wears goggles while wearing a watermelon helmet. A man wears a watermelon as a mask, with two small holes cut out. A man appears to be kissing a watermelon.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    7 months ago
    A cork board with two papers pinned to it. The left paper has the Burger King logo at the top. Below is the text: "ALL EMPLOYEES MUST WATCH TRAINING VIDEO 'DON'T MAKE LOVE TO THE DEEP FRYER' IMMEDIATELY." To the right is a small get well note that says "Get well soon, Adam!"
  • 0
  • TaylorSwiftBoat
    7 months ago
    Three men stand in front of a sign that says, "You must 21 years to enter". The text on the image says, "I stand up when I piss (On God)". The text below the image says "21 Savage, Offset & Metro Boomin, 'Still Serving'" and "Genius" on the bottom right.
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    Right, the bit as the bottom... i mean, look i keep myslef open on systems to rule empires and shit should i ever need to be it.

    A drawing of a hydra with multiple heads. The text on the image reads: "Hydra System. The Hydra is simple, every 2 represents a 1. When a head is cut, its twin must lead the next 2 novice heads. This means when every weak point is exercised the weak spot is a new offense. The perfect system."
  • 0
  • Sooploosh MacSchnibble
    11 months ago
    Man legally changes name to
"Big Dick" so that "these niggas
will keep my name out they
mouth"
@ju
C
He taken a selfie with a security cam?
The energy surrounding this man is mythically powerful. Truly he
is one we must fear.
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Wade must be the fucking healthiest one here

    The image displays "WTF SEX FACTS#" in large, bold, red letters at the top, followed by the statement "Having sex once a week can improve your immune system by 30%."
  • 8
  • Y
    Your local comrade
    1 year ago
    The top half of the image shows a sign that reads "Employees Must Wash anus" with a symbol of hands washing. Below the sign is a cartoon character with a serious expression. At the bottom of the image is the text "Good soldiers follow orders."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A four-panel image with three yellow smiley faces and a screenshot of a Wikipedia article. The first smiley face is smiling with two thumbs up and says 'hey so um'. The second smiley face is smiling and says 'there's this girl'. The third smiley face is turned upside down and says 'and um'. The fourth panel is a screenshot from Wikipedia about 'The Game (mind game)'. The text reads: "The Game is a mental game where the objective is to avoid thinking about The Game itself. Thinking about The Game constitutes a loss, which must be announced each time it occurs. It is impossible to win most versions."
  • 1
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    True.

    The image shows a two-panel comparison. The top panel has Nicolas Cage looking concerned with the text "The System Is Broken And It Must Be Fixed". The bottom panel shows Pedro Pascal smiling with the text "The System Is Working Exactly As Intended And Must Be Destroyed".
  • 0
  • DAP ME UP
    1 year ago
    The image shows a two-panel meme. The top panel is a pink square with the text "GOT NO KIDS?" at the top, followed by the text "Hire a babysitter anyway. Say your kid is asleep upstairs and must not be disturbed. Then upon your return, ask where your child is." with a vintage cartoon couple enjoying a meal at the top. The bottom panel shows a red cartoon figure with horns and a confused expression labeled "Satan:".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a tweet by Sophie that says "I must study war so my sons can study business so their sons can study art so their sons can write gay vampire fiction". Below is another tweet from Populism Updates stating "12. Ulysses S. Grant's great-grandson, an author of gay vampire fiction" with an image of an older man wearing a bow tie and a striped jacket.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD
RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE
CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD,
RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE
CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD CHILD
RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE
I am wanted for seventeen war crimes
in Libya, but I do not condone Sonic
the Hedgehog's behavior.
Hey guys, War Brother Chungus here. I agree with Corpse
Stuff. Although Stuff must be held accountable for his
misdeeds, pedophilia is a crime against humanity and
cannot be tolerated in a healthy society.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows two panels. The first shows a cartoon character on fire running towards a strange, cyclops-like character. The text says, "Stop normalising the grind and normalise whatever the f*ck this is." The second panel shows another cartoon character with the text "millions who took the pill that works both ways must die."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A cartoon image shows Katy Perry, wearing a wedding veil and green dress, and Elmo, a red muppet, standing in front of a cartoon building. The text above reads: "Katy: 'Men must learn to like a woman for her personality, not her body.' Elmo: 'Would you-' Katy: 'No, you're too short.'"
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    Me: "Yoda please get out
of my asshole PLEASE get
out it hurts oh god it
hurts"
Yoda: "mm reach your
colon i must."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A Capri Sun drink pouch with the text "Damn this shit kinda hydrating." "I NEED her bouncing and moaning on it." and "The Federal Government must fall."
  • 3
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.
  • 1
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."
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