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Spider

Anonymous · 1 year ago

A close up of a person's face with wide eyes. Text says: "The genie looking at me when I wish for spiders to have wings, be 5x bigger and invisible."

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Girl

Swf · 1 year ago

The image shows a close-up of Shrek's face with a knowing and slightly menacing expression. Above the image are the words "A random girl: (Talks to me for 5 seconds) The stare my friends give me:".

Kid

CallMeLyxi · 1 year ago

Bro, me

A meme showing a closeup of Grogu (Baby Yoda) looking up with a slightly mischievous expression. Above Grogu, white text on a black background reads: "Apparently referring to screaming kids in a store as 'Semen Demons' is not publicly acceptable, Who knew?"

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Grandmother

RapBoat · 1 year ago

We all know what rapper she’s talking about…

A screenshot of a YouTube comment. The user, @devonodevon, writes: I'm a retired 69 year old army vet white grandmother who hates rap and I can't stop listening!! I keep playing this to my grand kids and now they're not speaking to me because THEY CAN'T HANDLE TRUTH and COMMON SENSE. When he appeared as the Jamaican HOOBOY I WOKE UP THE WHOLE STREET LAUGHING!!! GODBLESS AMERICA. There are also like and dislike buttons and a comment button.

Accident

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A text message conversation. The first message says, "What's up?" The second says, "Dude, you're going to kill me. I was a little drunk last night and talking to your wife and I ended up banging her car in the driveway when I pulled out. I think I hit your daughter's bike too. I'll come fix it later, but please say sorry for me to your wife." The third message says, "Not delivered". The last message says "and your daughter".

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Mate

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a text conversation. The first person asks about a Miata for sale. After some questions, the first person asks "What's your lowest point?" and the second person responds with a tragic personal anecdote about his wife leaving him, misunderstanding that the first person was asking for the "lowest price."

Eye

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A meme showing a scene from the movie Harry Potter where a student recites a spell: "Eye of rabbit, harp string hum, turn this water into rum." Below, a chalice is pictured, and inside it, a woman looks shocked with the text: "Oh fuck, you're gonna make me rum."

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Ring

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a text overlay stating, "ME POSTING 'RINGS OF POWER IS BETTER THAN THE TRILOGY,' THEN PUTTING MY PHONE ON VIBRATE AND STICKING IT UP MY ASS." Below the text is a close-up shot of Frodo Baggins from Lord of the Rings, looking up with his eyes rolled back, as if in discomfort or ecstasy.

Benadryl

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a green frog asks a woman with glasses, "Mom, can you give me money to buy Benadryl?" The woman asks in the second panel, "To help you with your sleep?" The third panel shows a close-up of the frog saying, "Yeeees." The fourth panel shows the frog next to a Benadryl package and the text, "Actually takes 700mg like a boss." The bottom panel shows the frog with dark text that says, "deliriant psychosis time". A dark silhouetted figure is on the right.

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Surgery

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A person is shown in the dark. Text says "Me reconstructing my ball sack at 3am with the welder."

ME

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

3:06/11:47
i Ejactulate on small children for burnie sanders and donald trump
Vsauce
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Published on Jul 3, 2015
i love to make political posts, but this time i will annoy both sides.
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Hitler

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a screenshot of a YouTube video by Vsauce. The video title is 'I attempt to revive Hitler using my mind'. Below it, there is a text: 'The entire population of China'. On the right side, there are more suggested videos with titles like 'Doing drugs for science', 'I'm addicted to gambling', 'My left testicle', 'No Man's Sky part 1', and 'I haven't brushed my teeth in 3 years'.

Kid

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A man with glasses and a beard looks confused in front of a black background. At the bottom of the image it says: "I don't understand why kids scream when I touch them" Next to it, it says Mikes Meme Menagerie. To the right, is a list of other videos with titles like: "Watch me blow up the world Imao", "7 dead children in my backyard", and "Is he still screaming?".

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Horse

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

me when

A brown horse is standing inside what appears to be a convenience store, with its head pointed down and a stream of yellow granular material coming out of its mouth and falling to the floor.

Control

big [fire] balls · 1 year ago

The image is composed of three panels. The top panel shows the back of a person with light hair, the middle panel shows a person covering their face with their hand, and the bottom panel shows Perry the Platypus from the cartoon Phineas and Ferb playing a game console. The text overlay says "Sometimes I'm not me" above the first panel, "Sometimes he controls me" above the second panel.

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Plug

big [fire] balls · 1 year ago

A cartoon image of Candace from "Phineas and Ferb" struggling to put Perry the Platypus in a tub of water. Text above reads: "Me trying to plug in a USB cord without looking."

Sleep

big [fire] balls · 1 year ago

The image shows a scene from the animated show Phineas and Ferb. At the top, Phineas on the left is labeled "WANTING TO SLEEP", while Ferb on the right is labeled "NOT WANTING TO SLEEP". Below them, in a cage, is Perry the Platypus, labeled "ME", with wide, worried eyes. The text reads: "Ferb! This one's looking at both of us at the same time." Below Perry, it reads [Chattering]

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Brother

big [fire] balls · 1 year ago

The image shows four panels, each with a different SCP object class icon and a caption. The first panel shows the icon for Euclid with text: "How hard I could hit my brother". The second panel displays the Safe icon with text: "How hard I decided to hit him". The third panel shows the Keter icon with the caption: "How he described it to my dad". The fourth and final panel shows the Apollyon icon with the caption: "How my dad gonna hit me".

Place

big [fire] balls · 1 year ago

A search bar in Google shows different search suggestions, one of them saying, "there's a platypus controlling me". Below it, a platypus with glowing green eyes stares at the viewer. The text on the image reads: "YES. I CONTROL ALL!"

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Prison

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a text conversation between a policeman and another person, followed by a reaction image. The policeman says, "You're going to prison for forgery." The other person responds, "*Slides him a $37 bill*. What about now?" The policeman's reaction is displayed in three frames showing him with a look of confusion and skepticism.

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