Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

The image is a meme comparing the reactions of three U.S. presidents, Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy, and Theodore Roosevelt, to being shot. For Ronald Reagan, the text says he "gets shot once," "cries about it," and "immediately enacts gun control like a scared baby." For John F. Kennedy, it says he "gets shot twice," "eats the first shot for breakfast," and the "second shot blows his brains all over his wife on live TV like a boss." For Theodore Roosevelt, it says he "gets shot once while giving a speech in front of a huge audience," "laughs it off," and "continues to give his speech for the next hour while roasting the would-be assassin."

Heroin Monkey

A split-panel image. The left panel shows a hand holding playing cards (an ace and a king). The text above reads, "My hands look like this." The right panel shows a hand signing a document titled "Divorce Application". The text above the document reads, "So hers can look like this."

Willy b

A side-by-side image shows a puppet on the left and President Joe Biden on the right. The text above reads, "So my question is, who has their hand shoved up Biden's ass?" Below, text states, "Their likeness is uncanny and the irony... They're both puppets."

RapBoat

The top half of the image shows a yellow sign in the shape of a child with a smiling face, placed at the side of the road. The sign reads, "Drive like your kids live here." The bottom half shows the Drake Yes/No meme, with Drake smiling and pointing approvingly to the right at a yellow U-turn sign.

Adolf Nigler

Google Trends be like...

A map of the United States is shown with most of the states colored in blue. California is colored in red. Above the map is a legend that says "Compared breakdown by subregion" with blue representing "Baltimore Bridge" and red representing "KKK".

RapBoat

A Reddit post shows someone sharing an anecdote about kids singing the song "They Not Like Us" and other inappropriate lyrics on the playground. The poster finds the situation funny and reflects on the exposure of children to adult content.

Anonymous

A picture of Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka with text above that reads, "None of the new Willy Wonka movies have understood that Gene Wilder's version of Wonka worked because you felt like there was a real chance he was just gonna sit there and watch those kids die."

Anonymous

In a classical painting style, Jesus is sitting and talking to a group of people. Text overlaid on the image says, "SO I WAS LIKE, 'YO ABRAHAM, YOU SHOULD SACRIFICE YOUR SON.' THEN I WAS LIKE, 'WOAH, I WAS JUST KIDDING, BRO'"

MEME LORD

A tweet saying, "Yo guys, I have this girls nudes should I keep em? She died so idk. Since I have em and she's dead they are kinda like rare ass pokemon cards. Discontinued by manufacturer type shit," is shown above a screenshot of a concerned-looking chef from the movie Ratatouille.

Anonymous

A screenshot of a text message conversation with a dark background. In the first message, a sender states, "Girl, you're really pretty!" The recipient replies, "Thanks, but I'm a dude." The sender then says, "Oh, you look like a girl. You trans?" The recipient responds, "No, I just have long hair." The sender replies with insults. There are emojis included.

Anonymous

An image of an iPhone message thread. One message says, "Missing u like crazy rn.." The response is, "What the fuck." Then, the first person writes, "Shit autoco" and "Autocorrect." Below that is a message from AT&T stating, "All of the add'l 1GB of shared data added to your plan in this billing period is used. We've added another shared 1GB FOR $15 to your plan for use through 3/20/2022. Avoid add'l data charges by using our..."

Anonymous

A screenshot of a tweet that reads: "I hate it when I say 'suck my dick' and people say 'Oh but you don't have a dick,' you fools. Blithering idiots. I mean my soul dick. My metaphorical penis. I don't have a physical penis protruding from my body but the aura is there. Suck my spirit dick, peasant."

shaylie lol

A still from a meme shows the text, "When you're trying to eat in class but then the teacher turns around and you're just like..." followed by a picture of Harry Styles making a funny face.

Rey Rey

I FAMOUS NOW GUYS

A screenshot of a Google search result for the term "TheUsedFleshlightConnoisseur." The search results include links to worstjokesever.com and an Instagram post by rufuswainwright.

Anonymous

A screenshot of a tweet. The tweet says: "using my boobs as stress balls."

Anonymous

A Twitter post which reads, "aint been horny in 5 minutes i think im healing."

Anonymous

A screenshot of Twitter posts. The first post reads, "some of y'alls kids got some BIG ass heads." The following comments respond to this observation about head size.

Anonymous

The image is a screenshot of a tweet that says: "mfs be like 'stop dickriding' idgaf im bouncin and creamin all up on it now what?"

Jazzy💕

The image is a four-panel meme. The upper left and lower left panels show hands making origami. The upper right and lower right panels show Pope Francis looking contemplatively at the origami.

Jazzy💕

COSMO um???

A screenshot of a text conversation. The first message reads, "well, i like pussy". The second message reads, "but i also love blach's bussy."

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