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Heroin Monkey
1 year ago
A text message conversation. The first message says, "What's up?" The second says, "Dude, you're going to kill me. I was a little drunk last night and talking to your wife and I ended up banging her car in the driveway when I pulled out. I think I hit your daughter's bike too. I'll come fix it later, but please say sorry for me to your wife." The third message says, "Not delivered". The last message says "and your daughter".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A six-panel grayscale comic depicts a person in bed trying to sleep. In the first panel, the person looks sad, while a thought bubble above their head shows a brain saying "titties". In the second panel, the person still looks sad with a thought bubble saying, "I want to sleep". The following three panels show the person trying to sleep, then getting angry, and finally horrified.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A screenshot of a text conversation. The first person asks about a Miata for sale. After some questions, the first person asks "What's your lowest point?" and the second person responds with a tragic personal anecdote about his wife leaving him, misunderstanding that the first person was asking for the "lowest price."
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    1 year ago
    A screenshot of a phone notification screen shows multiple notifications from "Electron arrangements" stating that "Mrs V. Gilroy has set a new Chemistry homework". The text at the top says: "I THINK SHE TOOK IS A BIT... SERIOUSLY".
  • 2
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    3:06/11:47
i Ejactulate on small children for burnie sanders and donald trump
Vsauce
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Published on Jul 3, 2015
i love to make political posts, but this time i will annoy both sides.
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  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a screenshot of a YouTube video by Vsauce. The video title is 'I attempt to revive Hitler using my mind'. Below it, there is a text: 'The entire population of China'. On the right side, there are more suggested videos with titles like 'Doing drugs for science', 'I'm addicted to gambling', 'My left testicle', 'No Man's Sky part 1', and 'I haven't brushed my teeth in 3 years'.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A man with glasses and a beard looks confused in front of a black background. At the bottom of the image it says: "I don't understand why kids scream when I touch them" Next to it, it says Mikes Meme Menagerie. To the right, is a list of other videos with titles like: "Watch me blow up the world Imao", "7 dead children in my backyard", and "Is he still screaming?".
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    I got sued for circumcising random boys in the park
3487095
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A cartoon drawing shows two people walking along a path near a field where several sheep are grazing. A sheep in the background is holding a sign that says 'TWO-TIMING BASTARD!'. The first person says in a speech bubble, 'I CAN'T QUITE READ THAT. WHAT'S IT SAY?' The second person responds in a speech bubble 'UH...'
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    A black and white image of a bartender behind a bar, with drinks on the counter. The text in the image reads: "I was drinking a beer and the bartender yelled 'Anyone know CPR?' I yelled 'I know the entire alphabet.' And we all laughed and laughed, well except for this one guy."
  • 0
  • big [fire] balls
    1 year ago
    A platypus is being held in someone's hand. The text overlay reads: "Ah, yes... I am pleased. Your work has brightened my day. Proceed with accolades and joy!"
  • 0
  • big [fire] balls
    1 year ago
    A cartoon image shows a character with a long nose and a white lab coat and a sinister grin. The text above him says, "Ah Perry the Platypus, you are too late, I have already activated the Inator that makes everyone in the whole world read this in my voice."
  • 4
  • big [fire] balls
    1 year ago
    The image shows four panels, using characters from the Phineas and Ferb show. The first two panels show Perry the Platypus logging into a new device, first a smartphone, then a laptop. The third panel shows Doofenshmirtz yelling "WHO ARE YOU?!" and the last panel shows Doofenshmirtz saying "Oh good, you're back! Did you know that some hacker just tried to hack your account?"
  • 0
  • big [fire] balls
    1 year ago
    An image of a platypus in its natural habitat. Text above the animal reads "They said I could be anything" and text below it reads "so I became everything."
  • 0
  • big [fire] balls
    1 year ago
    The image shows four panels, each with a different SCP object class icon and a caption. The first panel shows the icon for Euclid with text: "How hard I could hit my brother". The second panel displays the Safe icon with text: "How hard I decided to hit him". The third panel shows the Keter icon with the caption: "How he described it to my dad". The fourth and final panel shows the Apollyon icon with the caption: "How my dad gonna hit me".
  • 0
  • big [fire] balls
    1 year ago
    A search bar in Google shows different search suggestions, one of them saying, "there's a platypus controlling me". Below it, a platypus with glowing green eyes stares at the viewer. The text on the image reads: "YES. I CONTROL ALL!"
  • 0
  • big [fire] balls
    1 year ago
    The image is divided into three parts. The left part shows a portrait of Kanye West. The top right part shows a diagram of two heads connected by lines representing telepathic communication. The bottom right shows a police car with flashing lights.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image is a four panel comic. In the first panel, an ant is shown happily eating a crumb, thinking "Man, these are the best crumbs I've ever had!!" In the second panel, a man looks shocked, exclaiming "Ayoo dude no wayy!!" In the third panel, the man is holding up a sock with white fluid on it, saying, "I thought I lost this cum sock ages ago!!" The fourth panel shows a close-up of the ant, now with a disgusted expression.
  • 0
  • DaRapBoat
    1 year ago

    I can DEFINITELY relate

    The image shows a list titled "7 Signs You're Getting Better At Rapping."  Next to it is a drawing of a light-skinned man with a serious expression pointing his finger directly at the viewer. Below the list is "HOW TO RAP @HOWTORAPNATION"
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    1 year ago
    The image shows a circular flow diagram. It starts with the text "I wake up", then an arrow points to a picture of a cat and multiple packages of Natural American Spirit cigarettes and the text "maybe 5 packs of cigs will help". Another arrow leads to "post silly things online" and then to "there is something wrong with me" before going back to "I wake up".
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