Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

A four-panel cartoon shows a person sitting at a desk. In the first panel, the text says "How to acquire internet points." In the second panel, the person is writing on a paper. In the third panel, the person holds up the paper which reads "only people with a big pp will upvote this post". In the fourth panel, the person is leaning back in their chair with arms behind their head and the text "GENIUS." is written above.

Heroin Monkey

A black and white comic strip depicting Darth Vader telling someone, presumably his son, about his conception. The text reads: "I AM YOUR FATHER! NO! No, that's impossible! Actually, it's very possible. I think it's time we had "the talk". You see, I stuck my penis into your mom's vagina. From there I- 20 long minutes later... Then I went uhhhh gghha aaa! Oh, BABY! And that's how you were created. I...I don't know how to take this all in. That's what your mom said LAST NIGHT! NOOOOOO!"

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two panels side by side. The left panel illustrates a cross-section of a person's head and neck with yellow arrows indicating airflow through a bong. The right panel shows a person's head and neck with their tongue extended into a bong. The text on the image reads "How to properly hit a bong:".

Big Stinkin' James

A photograph of a clothing rack at a store with the text: "Clearance $7" on a yellow sign. The shirt on the right displays a digital art image of a monkey wearing a military cap.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a text message exchange. The dad says 'Your uncle Mark died' followed by 'We are planning on cremating him' with fire and skull emojis. The child replies, 'Dad, that's not how we use emojis.'

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two Mr. Incredible reaction images. On the top, a Youtube thumbnail of a "how to" tutorial on Adobe Photoshop shows how to convert images to black and white. Text on the image reads: "Ps. How to convert image to Black and White in Adobe Photoshop 2021. Tutorials4view - 5.7K views - 2 years ago. people who don't know. people who know."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows two illustrations with the text "How to talk to short people:". The left illustration is labeled "Wrong" and shows a person bending down to talk to another person. The right illustration is labeled "Correct" and shows one person grabbing another person by the neck to be at the same height.

Heroin Monkey

Heroin Monkey

The image is a graph showing the search trends for 'super bowl' in blue and 'how to read roman numerals' in red from 2009 to 2014. The 'super bowl' search term spikes up dramatically in 2014. The text above the graph says: "this graph kills me every time I see it". Below the graph are the years 2009-2014. There is also the text "imgflip.com" in the lower left.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a split view. The top half shows a serene beach scene with a blue sky and calm ocean. The bottom half shows a man kicking an alligator in a muddy swamp, with other alligators nearby. The text at the top reads: "HOW TOURISTS THINK FLORIDA IS" and the text at the bottom reads: "FLORIDA IRL".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a poster with a character from the game Fortnite saying "Taking a hit in the restroom will deal 200 damage to your lungs. Do you want the victory royale? Don't vape, simple!" The poster also states, "It's not CUUL to JUUL in SCHUUL!". Below this image is a screenshot of Steve Buscemi wearing a red hat and a shirt that says "Music Band", saying, "How do you do, fellow kids?"

Heroin Monkey

The top panel shows a cartoon character, Phineas, looking pregnant with a pink heart coming out of his belly button. Below it is a man in medieval armor holding a shotgun with the text "ME" above him, and the text "*pumps shotgun with religious intent*" below him.

Nateツ

A man in a pink shirt stands near a body of water with a city in the background. The text on the image says "how's your life going?" and "This is a river of my tears."

Heroin Monkey

A four-panel cartoon. The first panel shows a car driving on a bridge with a "LOAD LIMIT 10 TONS" sign. In the second panel, the father and child are in a car, the child asks "HOW DO THEY KNOW THE LOAD LIMIT ON BRIDGES, DAD?" The third panel shows the father thinking about a matrix equation and the structural load analysis of a bridge. In the fourth panel, the father, now looking dumbfounded, says: "OH. I SHOULD'VE GUESSED."

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of two tweets. The first tweet asks whether Tarzan was a virgin before he met Jane, or if he "beat gorilla cheeks." The second tweet is a reply showing a Google search bar with the text "How to delete someone else's tweet."

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a Spotify playlist titled "how to fall down a staircase." The playlist includes songs titled: "Step 1 (with Offset)," "Step 2," "Step 5," "Step 8," "Step 13," "Step 25," and "Floor."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a green cartoon character with red eyes. Below the image is text of a story about a date gone wrong, ending with the line "That's my story of how I got cockblocked by motherfucking al qaeda."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows three vertically stacked screenshots of Youtube videos featuring Deji. The first video is titled 'How To Break Into A House' with 1M views from 6 years ago, the second is titled 'Fans Broke Into My House' with 2.3M views from 2 years ago. The bottom panel shows the face of a laughing older man.

Wade

The image shows a scarecrow dressed in a white robe and hood, similar to what members of the KKK would wear. The scarecrow stands in a field of watermelons. The text reads 'How to protect your watermelon farm.'

Wade

A four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a figure says, "Sometimes I feel like I have no one to turn to". The second panel shows a figure with a mustache saying "That's not true! Your mother and I are always here." In the third panel, another figure with blonde hair confirms, "Your father's right! You can count on us!". The fourth panel shows the first figure looking into two mirrors, one showing the mother and one showing the father. The first figure says "Ahhh- Almost had it that time!".

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