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Spider

1 view · Anonymous · 1 year ago

A close up of a person's face with wide eyes. Text says: "The genie looking at me when I wish for spiders to have wings, be 5x bigger and invisible."

Inch

41 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

The image shows a split screen of a woman with long red hair on the left and shorter red hair on the right. The caption reads, "She donated 30 inches of her hair to make wigs for children with cancer." A comment at the bottom says, "Now some poor kid has to be a ginger on top of having cancer."

Platypus

18 views · big [fire] balls · 1 year ago

The image is a two-panel meme. The top panel shows a platypus with text that says, "Quick Animal Facts: Most platypuses don't have to secretly fight a criminal mastermind who keeps on making unstoppable, long named gadgets." The bottom panel shows a man with text saying, "What do you mean, 'most?'"

Perry

12 views · big [fire] balls · 1 year ago

A cartoon image shows a character with a long nose and a white lab coat and a sinister grin. The text above him says, "Ah Perry the Platypus, you are too late, I have already activated the Inator that makes everyone in the whole world read this in my voice."

Instance

2 views · big [fire] balls · 1 year ago

The image displays a table with three text fields, each describing a different state of Allison Eckhart. The first one describes her as an extradimensional being, the second as an agent, and the third as a comatose being. All three texts use complicated and formal language to describe Allison Eckhart.

Sign

21 views · RapBoat · 1 year ago

I can DEFINITELY relate

The image shows a list titled "7 Signs You're Getting Better At Rapping." Next to it is a drawing of a light-skinned man with a serious expression pointing his finger directly at the viewer. Below the list is "HOW TO RAP @HOWTORAPNATION"

Dark Humor

30 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An image showing a screenshot of an internet forum thread. The first post from an anonymous user, dated 02/17/18, includes an image of an anime character and several lines of text in a cutesy style. The text says: "Good morning! :D You are good and lovely. :3 You have the ability. ^w^ I love you. x3 *huggles tightly* *wuggles* (wuv + huggles) *boops your cheek, nose, and tummy tum tum*". The second post, a reply from another anonymous user a few minutes later, states: "Thank you, you've inspired me to finally commit suicide".

Car

15 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A pregnancy test shows a car engine icon instead of a positive result. Below, text says: "Fuq. That's right. We're having a 2009 Honda civic."

Script

6 views · Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

A tweet from Joe Heenan stating he wrote a script during lockdown and received an email from someone at Netflix. The email reads, Dear Mr. Heenan, Thank you for the script, it's one of the best we have ever read. The writing is superb, it's tense, funny & non stop action. The only problem is it's the script to Die Hard. You literally sent us the script to Die Hard & changed the title to Mr. No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas. Never contact us again.

Steve Harvey

4 views · Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

An image of a night sky with a projection of Steve Harvey's face made of light dots over Atlanta. A user comments that the lights are just stars.

Military

15 views · Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

The image is a comic strip showing three panels. In the first panel, an elderly man in military attire is talking to a younger man sitting next to him, who is also playing a video game. The text says, "WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I DEFEATED THE NAZIS IN HOLLAND." The younger man responds, "You have to let me go, grandpa. It's not your fault you inspired me to join the military. I knew the risks when I signed up. It was my choice." In the second panel, the younger man fades and becomes translucent. The text says, "Men shouldn't die so young." In the third panel, the elderly man is sitting alone on the chair.

Time

13 views · Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

A text-based image showing a conversation. The text reads: "Remembering that time in grad school when my advisor, a great ornithologist, got a random call: drunk guy, bar noises in background: IS THIS THE BIRD PROFESSOR? my advisor: um..yes? drunk guy: DO HUMMINGBIRDS HAVE FEET? my advisor: ...yes *wild cheering over phone from bar*"

Blowjob

164 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The text says "Schrödinger's blowjob?" followed by a description of a hypothetical scenario. It states that while blindfolded one receives the best blowjob ever. The identity of the person is not known and it could be anyone such as Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold or even the fireman's cat. The question asked is if you would take off the blindfold to find out, or just leave it on.

Type

51 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

The image shows a text stating, "There are 2 types of people," followed by two comments. The first comment, by "Heroin Monkey," reads, "daddy diddy is cumming." The second comment, by "rylee!!," reads, "I get this is a jokes site but other people have convos as well on here. It's not just me and ethan so please stop."

Lizard

3 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows text on a white background. The first line says, "SOME PEOPLE HAVE A" in black. The word "GIRLFRIEND" is in large red letters with a female gender symbol to the right. The next line says, "SOME PEOPLE HAVE A" in black. The word "BOYFRIEND" is in large blue letters with a male gender symbol to the right. Below this, the text "I HAVE" is followed by "to check out this lizard hang on stop walking I want to see this lizard" in smaller black letters. At the bottom right, there is a green lizard.

Coffee

22 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of two Instagram posts. The first post, from user fatgirlhedonist, says "Idk who needs to hear this, but I switched from buying coffee every day to making it at home 2 years ago and I'm still not a millionaire." The second post, from user brianmstewart, is pinned and replies "I have studied the habits of millionaires. While it is a good step to save money by making coffee at home, have you considered supplementing your income by committing massive fraud?"

Diarrhea

13 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a 3D render of Mario standing with his legs slightly apart. Text above his head reads: "I HAVE BURNING LIQUID DIARRHEA SHIT" and text below says "DRIPPING DOWN MY LEG".

Weed

33 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a comparison of 'Stoners 2020' and 'Stoners 1520'. In the first panel, a modern stoner is crying and saying 'This weed is too strong, I'm having an anxiety attack,' while another says, 'Haha pussy.' In the second panel, two indigenous people are shown with a bright background, one says, 'Nice Ayahuasca,' and the other says, 'Let's sacrifice a child.'

Private

30 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

Sadly

The image contrasts a waterfall with a milk jug. The text above reads, "Ejaculating in private vs. when I have a girl over."

Dinner

24 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A close-up image shows a fish with a cigarette in its mouth. There is text on the image that says, "he told me we were having smoked salmon for dinner dawg wtf is this".

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