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Wine

233 views · Shitpost master-general · 4 months ago

A screenshot featuring a video of a wealthy man in a white shirt tasting wine presented by a server holding a bottle. Text overlays indicate the location is 'Marbella Club, Málaga.' The comment section shows a user asking, 'what happens if he dislikes the wine,' and another user replying with the extremely vulgar and dark punchline: 'He rapes the owner of the restaurant.'

Ammunition

251 views · Willy b · 2 months ago

An olive-green artillery shell lies in a metal tray. On the shell, the words "The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed" are handwritten in white paint.

Addiction

80 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

An infographic-style image divided diagonally into a red top-left section and a green bottom-right section. The red section is labeled 'UNSUCCESSFUL PEOPLE' and shows a man hunched over, carrying a tall stack of seven white blocks, each labeled 'FAIL'. The green section is labeled 'SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE' and shows a man climbing a staircase made of seven white blocks, each labeled with a vice: 'FENT', 'VODKA', 'GAMBLING', 'FENT', 'FENT', 'BEER', 'FENT'. A 'VS' symbol in a circle is at the center where the two sections meet.

Karma

27 views · Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A stylized image featuring a golden figure and a large yellow sphere on a path in a misty forest scene, framed by red decorative elements with Chinese characters. Overlayed white text reads: Karma is REAL! You and your bro will receive a fentanyl addiction. Type 'yes' to hook your entire bloodline on fent.

Santa

85 views · Shitpost master-general · 5 months ago

A cartoon image shows Santa Claus standing next to a reindeer whose legs have been replaced with cinder blocks. Santa, looking exasperated, is saying, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO STOP IN JACKSONVILLE." The background depicts a snowy urban scene with buildings.

Ocean

37 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a message showing a dolphin-like head and the text: Me: "cums in the ocean." 20 years later in front of my door. Below this message is another message saying: "I would like you to stop messaging me".

Shit

11 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A cartoonish bird with an angry expression and a burning fuse above its head is below the text "It's all shits and giggles until somebody giggles and shits."

Chore

9 views · shaylie lol · 2 years ago

The image shows two side-by-side panels of Violet Parr from the movie "The Incredibles". In the left panel, she is drinking a beverage looking relaxed. In the right panel, she is spitting out the drink with a shocked expression. The text above reads, "When you haven't done any of your chores and you hear the keys jiggling in the door..."

Wish

18 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The meme is a four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a genie tells a man he has three wishes. In the second panel, the man tells the genie to do the opposite of his next wish and not to fulfill his third wish. In the third panel, the man asks the genie to ignore his first wish. In the fourth panel, multiple system error messages are displayed.

Microwave

30 views · United Kingdom UK · 10 months ago

A two-part image showing a Twitter exchange. The top part shows a tweet suggesting a method for scooping hard ice cream, with two photos: a tub of Kemps ice cream and a spoon sitting on the turntable inside a microwave. The bottom part shows a reply tweet with a photo of a microwave emitting smoke and fire, with the text "YOU MOTHER FUCKER".

Amy

10 views · urfavvirgo · 2 years ago

A picture shows a man with a confused expression and his arms stretched out to the sides. Text above him says "Amy to Wade and Jake: 'Would you date me or die? <3'" Text below him says "guess I'll die".

AI

76 views · Anonymous · 10 months ago

Shitpost master general

A four-panel comic strip. Panel 1: A robot covered in paint splatters and wearing a red beret stands with a paintbrush in front of an easel, talking to an older human figure. The human says in a speech bubble: "SORRY, BUT A.I. CANNOT ATTEND ART SCHOOL." Panel 2: Close-up of the robot looking sad, holding the paintbrush. Panel 3: The robot wipes the paintbrush under its nose, creating a black smudge. Panel 4: The robot looks forward with the black smudge now resembling a small mustache (like Adolf Hitler's), with an angry expression and glowing yellow eyes. The text 'STONETOSS.COM' is visible vertically on the right edge of the first two panels.

Genie

30 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A close-up of a cartoon man with wide eyes and a slightly concerned expression, under the text "The genie looking at me after I wished for all suicidal people to be immortal."

Robbery

52 views · Anonymous · 7 months ago

Changing one’s life looks like…

A close-up selfie of a Black man wearing a grey baseball cap and a light blue shirt. He has vitiligo, a skin condition causing white patches, notably around his left eye and cheek. Text above him reads: "He stopped robbing for 3 days and is already seeing Results".

Silly

13 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

A person wearing a straitjacket is sitting on a bed in a padded room. The text overlay says "I got too silly".

Asshole

61 views · Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A four-panel meme with text above. The top text reads 'ME: I don't understand why my asshole always hurts. Also ME:'. Below this are four images: The top left shows a jar of sliced jalapeño peppers. The top right shows a bowl of red salsa. The bottom left shows a pile of red chili peppers. The bottom right shows a person's torso holding a very large, ribbed, purple butt plug.

Leak

16 views · Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A four-panel meme. The top row is labeled "MOVIE LEAKS". The left image shows a Wojak wearing a mask over a sad face, with the text "This character dies". The right image shows a crying Wojak with glasses, screaming, with the text "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!". The bottom row is labeled "RADIATION LEAKS". The left image shows a distorted Wojak face with red blotches, multiple eyes, and mushrooms growing from its head, with the text "bLURGH GHSAAGHLR". The right image shows a human skull with melting skin and exposed bone, with the text "My Skin is literally Melting".

Decision

1 view · 🌙✨⭐️That Hijabi Girl⭐️✨🌙 · 2 years ago

It says “Me acting socked when my poor decisions lead to negative outcomes” VERY TRUE

A close-up of Woody from Toy Story with a shocked expression, his hand covering his mouth. Text above him reads "Me acting shocked when my poor decisions lead to negative outcomes."

Math

blach66 · 3 years ago

Hehehe

A glass of a brown liquid on a wooden table. The text overlay on the image says: "My new favourite math sum Coke x Sprite x Fanta = diahharia in a glass."

Kid

5 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

A tweet that reads: "Nutted in her braces now my kids behind bars."

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