Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

A photo of actor Keanu Reeves looking slightly impatient. The text overlay reads: "Me waiting for my grandpa to stop choking so I can tell him I put a lego piece in his oatmeal."

Kai :)

im sobbing, fruit wuz my first friend on here, and now he's gone :<

A text message screenshot saying:
"Can confirm this is me. I didn't sign in, and I won't sign in ever again. You guys are the best. Dagger, stfu. but fr tho, Dagger, you should pursue being a therapist. I believe in you, your awesome. (wrong you're on purpose) :hello:, you're a great friend. stay out of trouble. Cas/Kai, You are a genuine comedian, you make me feel good about myself, and you are very kind. Ashton, STFU. Bye ya'll. For real this time."

Unimportant Intelligence

how fun

A man is skydiving. The text on the image reads: "Did you know? You can skydive without parachute but only once."

M3ME G0D

A screenshot of a Twitter post by @upblissed, asking if @MrBlackOG searched up "gang." Below, a tweet from Mr. Black says that he was banned from Google, because of several requests from the United States Government regarding the topics he was searching for over the last 5 years. The text says, "You no longer have permission to use Google, nor make a new Gmail account under your name. If we are made aware that you are trying to make a new account, legal action will be taken." Mr. Black can return to Google on June 26, 2033.

Nintendo Fan

A woman and a man shake hands in front of a small airplane. The text on the image says: "Can a woman make you a Millionaire?" A comment below says: "Xavier: Yes! If you are a Billionaire."

DADDY sus aka the king

godd

The image is split into two sections. The top part shows two cartoon penguins looking straight ahead with blank expressions. A translucent image of one penguin is layered on top of the other. The caption above reads: "Me zoned out staring at a fixed point:". The bottom part shows a boy holding up a wooden cross and raising one hand in a defensive gesture. His expression is one of surprise and mild fear. The caption above the boy reads: "The ghost in my room:". The captions around the boy read: "How the flip can u see me?!" and "U need God".

✨Jassy✨

Comment this emoji 🤣 if you can relate

Spider-Man is doing a weird stretch in a cartoonish style in front of a brick wall. The image is captioned with the text: "When you wake up from a 3 hour nap and do that weird stretch thing."

BellaTrix

Like if you can relate

A two panel image showing two dogs. The top panel shows a light-colored chihuahua looking directly at the viewer with a concerned expression. The text above the dog reads, "Mom... can I ask you something without you getting angry???" The bottom panel shows a black dog with glasses sitting at a table with a sewing machine in the foreground, appearing stern or annoyed.

Heroin Monkey

The text reads, "The doctor waiting for the parents to stop crying about their dead son so he can announce the $300,000 medical bill." Below the text is a close-up of a man with a slight, almost uncomfortable, smile and a white coat.

DAP ME UP #3 (brother)

only if peter was black

Peter Griffin holds up a color chart with the text 'OKAY' next to the first three shades, and 'NOT OKAY' next to the last three darker shades of brown. The text "Martha's Vineyard Liberals Deciding If You Can Live There" appears above the color chart.

Heroin Monkey

A cartoon drawing shows a person with a computer monitor for a head, displaying logos for Google Chrome, Facebook, and Amazon, speaking to another person. The text says "I see you recently bought a lawnmower. Can I interest you in another lawnmower?"

DaRey1Cray

DIS IS NUT FOR KIDS

A product image of a green figure attached to a toothpaste tube and covering the opening. The text on the image reads: 'Toothpaste Cap Kids Toothpaste Attachment. Visit the Handmade Store. 4.0 stars. 15 ratings. Best Price on Amazon. -30% $8.99. List Price: $12.90. FREE Returns. A fun toothpaste cover that will make kids love brushing teeth. Produced in a 3D printer with organic PLA material that can be degraded in nature. It is placed on the cap of the toothpaste tube instead of the toothpaste cap. (Not compatible with non-standard pastes) It is not a hazardous material (toy). Do not wash in hot water or in the machine. The toothpaste tube product in the product is for promotional purposes. You can contact us for color preferences.'

Daddy dick

DAM

A close-up of a gray dog with a pink collar looking at the camera. The text above says, "When the customers randomly having a rant you can do nothing about and you just stand there listening like."

mariotime

gramma got a gun

A woman, likely an elderly woman or grandmother, is holding a handgun. The text above says "when you're presenting in class and someone says "can you speak up i cant hear you"".

Unimportant Intelligence

It works, my brother has never slept better

A man is lying in bed with a pillow under his head. Text overlay: "DID YOU KNOW? If you hold your breath for a long time you can sleep forever."

Nateツ

A picture with two people, one labeled as "Teacher" and the other as "Me", is shown. The text above them reads, "Me: 'Can I go to the bathroom?' Teacher: 'It's may' Me: 'No, it's January'".

Heroin Monkey

Heroin Monkey

A sign that reads: "www.bridgewatercurlingclub.com. You think you can hurt my feelings. I used to hold the fleshlight for my dad."

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first text says, "Can you call me a taxi at 7am tomorrow?" The second text says, "Thanks dad". There is a green "Ok" bubble, and the last text, which is from "dad", says: "You're a taxi".

Anonymous

The image shows a wooden guillotine with labels and prices for each part from Home Depot, accompanied by the text "Something you can do with your $600 stimulus check." at the top and "DIY PROJECTS & IDEAS" at the bottom. The parts and prices include: 24in x 24in, #16 plain sheet metal for $39.98; Everbilt 1/4in x 100 ft Sisal Rope, Naural for $7.97; 1in x 6in x 8 ft for $10.11; 4in x 4in x 10 #2 for $11.12; 2in x 4in #12 Galvanized L-Angle for $2.11; and 2in x 4in x 10 #2 for $3.88.

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