Masterbate jokes
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
I got caught masturbating in the bath by my mum!
I said, "Mum, I’ll wash it as hard and fast as I want!"
What does a dead baby look like?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
roses are red coal needs to burn i masterbated and it started to burn
If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?
A master baiter.
When slave owners can't get a girlfriend, do they MASTERbate?
How long does it take to blow up a baby in the microwave?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate...
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other.
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.