Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
Hey John, how are you going?
Helium, yeah good, what about you?
(Hey Liam)