Lexicography jokes

You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.

English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.

Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...

One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"

What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? "Smiles," because there is a mile between the first letter and the last.

I invented a new word today.

Plagiarism.