King's Men jokes

"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."

"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all

Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock

when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"

Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."

My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.

If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?

Alive.

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.

Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.

In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?

Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.

JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.